A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i recently went on a "break." this happened after we had a big fight because i had a feeling he was lying to me about something so i violated his privacy on facebook by loggin on as him thus proving he was lying to me. He had promised me he would stop talking to his ex girlfriend and only after 1 month of him deleting her...he talks to her. We got into a huge fight about how he cant trust me and now we're on that break i was talking about. We will decide (on my birthday no less) if we will stay together or not. This is not the first time we broke up, but i feel horrible none the less...after we got back together from our previous break up...he promised to never leave again. he promised he would change, he promised that we would be happy and he would always be there for me...but then he just became abusive emotionally and didnt even know it. His excuse? he's not an emotional person like i am..but he used to..i am so confused on whether it is worth staying with him or not...on the one hand i love him more than my own family and we have been together almost 2 years...but at the same time hes so mean now and bitter and i dont feel like hes trying at all in our relationship and it should be a two way thing...it should not all be coming from me...i have no clue what to do because now he is sending me mixed signals. one day he tells me he loves me and how he wrote an apology poem...and the next he changes his status from "in a complicated relationship" to single...then re-adds his ex gf to his facebook knowing full well i would see it...i know he doesnt like her because he has no respect for her at all but what does this all mean? what should i do? should i just to try to get over him when i want to be with him so badly or should i just sit here hoping he will change and fight for me instead of give up?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell you see the thing is i already now know he was telling me what i wanted to hear because he told me he was always afraid to say no to me cuz he didnt want us to fight...and we have only broken up once prior to this one...and i mean last week i had suggested a break and he thought it was stupid and this week he said it was a good idea after the major fight we had...so it is still confusing to me because now he asks what i would do if we broke up...that he wrote an apology and its kinda good and bad mixed together...then he tells me he loves me and says he would be so much more worse without me than i think so im a little confused on what he wants and apparently so is he...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): I am sorry you are hurting.
This is not the guy for you. You have already parted ways a couple of times, indicating that problems keep re-surfacing.
Your boyfriend tells you what he thinks you need to hear, not necessarily the truth. He will change, he will never leave you, etc. False promises that he cannot follow through on. These are all lies. You also know that you cannot trust him.
Send him down the dirt road while you take the highway! Find another guy who is more sensitive.
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