A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 2 months pregnant and i dont know who the father is there is 3 possible dads and i dont know wat to do. please help me !!!!!! its ethier my exs a one night stand or my mate that i had sex with once or twice PLEASE help i know if been stupid but i dont know what to do should i have the baby or not? thanks i would like peopqles advice
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female
reader, greenmonkey00  +, writes (11 April 2008):
 It doesn't matter who the father is. That should not be the deciding factor in determining whether to have the baby or not. That baby is going to be a mini-you. :) They are an amazing joy! I always say, if you're ready to have sex, you're ready to be a parent.
When you have the baby, you can do a paternity test and it will all be figured out. The best thing to do is not worry and take care of yourself. Just don't lose track of the potential baby daddys because you're gonna need them in 9 months for some blood.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): I would only suggest that you have the baby if you really want to. It is really hard bringing up kids on your own, which you could end up doing, and this is something that i did, but with a lot of help from my parents. I was lucky and have a fantastic 16 year old son now. If you have the child then have a DNA test done after. It is up to you if you tell any of these guys, but i think you must put them in the picture if you do decide to have a baby. If not, then i wouldnt tell any of them and go away and have the abortion. Good luck and keep in touch. I've been there before and its not an easy decision to make.
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A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (11 April 2008):
 Hi, definitely have the baby, it will be wonderful. About who the father is, the best thing for you to do have a paternity test done. Check your dates, did you have sex around the same time, if so then a paternity or DNA test or blood group as mentioned already are you only options. You need to talk to these guys and explain that you need to be sure if they are the father or no. I hope you learnt from this mistake, anyone can make mistake once, you should learn from this and go forward. You will have a bundle of joy in a few months and this will be you main priority. Provide love, security and protection for your baby of which i have no doubt you will.
The best of luck x
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (11 April 2008):
 i suggest you have the baby and see who the child has a likeness too.
...if you cant afford a dna test you can always go on jeremy kyle lol x
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (11 April 2008):
 Of course have the baby. Then, when he or she is here (and you will be over the moon with him/her!), if you still don't know who the dad is, get a DNA test done. But you might be able to tell as soon as you have the baby who the dad is, because sometimes they look just the same : )
I know you know it's stupid to have a choice of THREE dads, but hey, that's life, and one little new person has come of it. As long as he or she has a solid family, and you, his/her mother, then I'm sure you can work it out. It's weird, but things that seem really important before a baby is born are suddenly not that important at all once the baby is here - you'll just be glad to have your baby, and you'll find a way to work things out.
That's my opinion, but then I've just given birth to a beautiful daughter, and her dad is married to someone else. Yep. Not ideal. But I know for sure we did the right thing - she is wonderful, and there's no doubt she will be happy and very much loved, whatever crazy things the adults around have done. That won't be her problem, ever.
You'll see. Really, it will work itself out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): Of course have the baby. Then, when he or she is here (and you will be over the moon with him/her!), if you still don't know who the dad is, get a DNA test done. But you might be able to tell as soon as you have the baby who the dad is, because sometimes they look just the same : )
I know you know it's stupid to have a choice of THREE dads, but hey, that's life, and one little new person has come of it. As long as he or she has a solid family, and you, his/her mother, then I'm sure you can work it out. It's weird, but things that seem really important before a baby is born are suddenly not that important at all once the baby is here - you'll just be glad to have your baby, and you'll find a way to work things out.
That's my opinion, but then I've just given birth to a beautiful daughter, and her dad is married to someone else. Yep. Not ideal. But I know for sure we did the right thing - she is wonderful, and there's no doubt she will be happy and very much loved, whatever crazy things the adults around have done. That won't be her problem, ever.
You'll see. Really, it will work itself out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): Ok I would personally advise that you keep the baby and tell the possible fathers that your pregnant and they could be the father.
I think if you are going to keep the child you will need to be honest, its not about you once the baby is born. I would also get a paternity test once the baby is born just to make things clearer.
There are other ways of finding out who is the father, for instance once the baby is born its blood group could help determine who is the father, especially if one of the men has a rare blood group.
Ok hope I have been some help.
look after yourself wotever you do.
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): Well if IQ were a requirement to have a child there would be a whole lot less children in the world.....(to your comment I know I have been stupid).
To base your decision on whether or not to have a child because you don't know who the father is, is not exactly the questions to be asking yourself.
Are you wanting to keep the baby and have your parents shoulder the financial and emotional burden of raising the child when you yourself are in no position to do so either financially or because of the time in your life is not the best time for everyone including the chld.
Could you be OK giving the child up for adoption to a loving couple who are sadly unable to conceive a child, knowing that they would provide a more stable home and possibly a brighter future for the child?
Are you ready to be a parent for the rest of your life and give up the freedoms that come with being a very young woman and teen that likes to party and hang out with her friends at the drop of the hat?
Can you deal with getting a paternity test and telling all three men that you need them to submit to the test to determine which one of them is the father? Are you prepared to have a parent to parent relationship for the rest of your life with any of these men and having any of these men be the father to your child, and expect him to contribute financially at his young age? How do you think these guys will feel being stuck with parenthood without wanting it? Of course it takes two to be stupid, but did you lie about being on birth control?
Can you deal with the social humiliation in your town to being an unwed mother? Are you mature enough to handle the criticism that will come your way.
Are you mature enough to quickly in the next couple of weeks schedule an abortion and get on with your life, leaving all other parties unaffected by your poor choice, and realizing that you have a right to do this as it is your body and you don't have to be a victim of your biology, however, the right thing to do is to do it now and forever hold your peice (don't tell everyone and their brother what you did)...And to vow to never get pregnant again without planning it, there are so many effective birth control pills out there and you need to be on one if your are remaining sexually active....And perhaps a moral check up is in order as well.
Good luck with your decision. It is your responsibility to decide for yourself what is best not just for you but for other people as well, your decision will impact their lives forever, think about it.
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