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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now and I have never really completely trusted him. I usually do whatever he wants to do, he's extremely outgoing and has lots of friends and admirers. I am a little more reserved and with fewer friends. I have been insecure a few times but we have talked about my trust issues/insecurities and then it's fine again but this can not keep happening if I want us to remain together. He is now going to his friends birthday bbq this weekend and his ex-girlfriend will be there. He has not seen her for nearly two years. He said I should go with him but I think he's actually strangely excited to see her.. as he asked me 'what is it like bumping into an ex?!!' and 'shall i wear something really stupid??' and laughed excitably afterwards. I was thinking 'what?' ...At first I said I would go to the bbq but now I'm thinking perhaps it's not the best thing to do because if I see him talking to his ex I may not be able to control myself and then I will look stupid! Or should I be there with my man?? Any advice anyone? what's the best thing to do? Thanks.
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female
reader, Muscle and Sinew  +, writes (8 June 2010):
 I agree. You should go so that way when ur at home and he is having a good time your mind will be thinking all these thoughts. And men are not detailed they will not discuss everything that happened that day. Go smile, be that girl that the ex gf envies. But believe me, it can't always belike that. When my husband and I were dating he had this "friend" that was always around. But she would call him at two in the morning to go over. ... Just to avoid all that from happening to you. There is a line. And you need to discuss that with him. I'm sure if it was switched around he would feel uncomfortable. Hope this helped.
M&S
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): You have to ask yourself which would be worse. Sitting at home knowing he's there with his ex, imagining all the things in your mind could be happening between them? or going and having a bit of fun and seeing that there's nothing to be worried or jealous about?
The bigger question you have to ask yourself though is why you don't completely trust him. Whether it's something real like his behaviour or that he's cheated before or something, or whether it is solely down to your own insecurities.
It seems to me that he was making fun of the fact his ex would be there, laughing at the idea and he didn't try and hide anything from you and even wants you to be there. That doesn't sound like the actions of a man that feels anything for his ex anymore or has any intention of doing anything.
You know what? He's probably more excited at the prospect of his ex seeing what a wonderful girlfriend he has now and how happy he is. Relax, they have history together so they will have a chat, he'll probably even introduce you to her, you'd never know she could be a nice person you might even have fun talking to her.
I've had many a conversation with girlfriends ex's most of them are actually pretty cool guys. She's even friends with some of her ex's, some of them even still have a thing for her. None of that bothers me, because I trust her when she I'm the only one for her and her past and present behaviour shows me that's true.
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