A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm going to a formal dress party on friday night, hosted by the guy I like. Things have been eventful lately with us - we got together and then he freaked out a little and said it was all going too fast and we should just be friends, get to know each other and he didn't want to lose me if it went wrong. I'm not sure what to make of that so if you've got any thoughts on it I'd love to hear them, but my main question here is more urgent - should I still go to the party? I feel like I should, because if I don't he might think I'm really hurt and mad at him and then he'd think he's already stuffed up our friendship, which he hasn't. Also, I don't know what to wear - I only have 2 possible dresses, one black and very low cut, which I don't think I'd be that comfortable in with him now and the other is red and tends to attract a lot of attention when I wear it. I don't want to look like I'm trying to impress him or make him jealous. I can't afford to buy anything new right now and I don't have any girlfriends the same size as me... I'm so tempted to say I can't make it to his party after all, it would be so much easier... but I don't want him to think I hate him and make our friendship awkward!
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (29 October 2009):
I think you should go if you want to, and I think you do. As far as how you look--you want to look hot! Don't look trampy, but you're probably overthinking your dresses that probably look nice. I highly doubt he would think that you would be trying to look like youre trying to impress him or make him jealous. Think of it this way, if the roles were reversed and he looked nicer than normal, you would notice but you wouldn't be outright thinking, "Oh, well look at him, he's trying to impress me or make me jealous, what a loser!" No, you'll probably thinkg, "Wow, he looks really cute."
I'm biased, red is my favorite color; but, you can never go wrong with the little black dress ;) Whatever you feel most comfortable in: wear it.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns +, writes (29 October 2009):
 If you don't really want to go to the party simply tell him you have other plans and sound cheery, so he won't think you're pissed or hurt. If you do decide to go, wear the black dress just put a black cami underneath to cover some fo the clevage if you're that worried, or bring a wrap; keep the jewelry simple and somewhat low key, as well as the make up and hair so you don't look like you're trying too hard. If you still look like a knock out, maybe he'll find himself wondering why he freaked out and tried to push you away. The night could have a pleasant and surprisingly fun ending.....xoxo
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