A
female
age
36-40,
*weetpie88
writes: Me and boyfriend we have been together for nearly a year. We have planned ahead for the future as we will live together when I start university again, he is planning for a little business, etc. however we are both going through financial difficulty. Now he is very depressed because I'm not always there with him as we both live in different towns and he can't take living alone and he told me that we would like to go back, however he does not want to force me to take me to his home country. We both love each other and I can't imagine my life without him. We've been so happy before and now we're both sad. What am I supposed to do - go there with him and leave everything behind or tell him to stay as our life could get better soon?please help me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009): BOTH of you need to stick it out where you are. Moving is usually never a solution. You need to finish college, he needs to find a way to make a living. if he can't work for himself, he needs to find someone to work for and have them TEACH him how to open and run his own busniess in a year or two.
Also, your job is NOT to transform him from sad to happy... you don't have that power... If you move out of the country I fear that it's not going to end well at all, as he'll probably remain unhappy, and you'll be living somewhere disconnected to your family and freinds. Moving to another country should be FUN and not done under duress.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 September 2009):
You need to finish your university! At all costs. Don't move away and give that up, because that's your outlet and your future. His is tied up in a business and it will take time. Also, you don't want to become his permamant shoulder at this time because he's depressed, and he may unwillingly pull you down with him. Stick with univeristy and allowm him to focus on his business. Moving won't fix the problem.
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A
female
reader, Dannii689 +, writes (27 September 2009):
Stick where you are at the moment, you have university to think of, which will give you more options when you finish, and he is planning a small business which could end up successful. EVERYONE is in financial difficulty at the moment, so moving somewhere else might not fix the problem, tell him to keep on trying, and if by the time you have finished university and things are still the way they are, look into moving, or even just trying to find alternate work. A small business at this point in time is going to be difficult to start, but once economy gets better, things will start to look up.
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