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Should I go over and visit him in Sweden at all?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 March 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2009)
A female Ireland age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

2 years ago I went out with a wonderful man for over a month. I ended it because he always was asking when the relationship was going to become a sexual one and so I felt that maybe this was all he was after. Also I felt things were getting a bit serious because he started telling me he loved me and he sounded genuine. Being 18, I didn't have much experience of relationships then, so I felt it was better to end it than mess him about and waste his time.

We have kept in contact ever since mainly by email and sometimes phone and we are on good terms. He said a few months ago that he still loves me and left comments underneath my photos on facebook saying I looked ''beautiful'' etc.

A few months ago he moved to Sweden for a job (I'm in Ireland) and recently he invited me to visit him. I accepted the offer but I have not booked my flight yet. I asked him by email if there was any other motive for inviting me over there and he replied saying he "just wants us to be friends now" and that he is "with someone else."

Yet I'm sensing from the phone calls I'm getting from him and the comments he left on my photos that he still has feelings for me. If he ever moved back here I would be more than willing to have a relationship with him again as he is a lovely person, but I'm confused by the signals he's sending me. He isn't a messer or a two timer by nature yet that contradicts with his actions now. His girlfriend surely wouldn't be happy with the idea of her boyfriend's ex coming to stay with him?

My question is, is it a good idea to visit him in Sweden at all? How would he ask me over if he just wanted to be friends? Should I ask him what is going on? All answers would be appreciated.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

he finally wrote back saying she ''trusts him'' but he said it didnt matter when I asked him how long were they going out so I dont know what to think now!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for the answers, he wanted me to do stuff before when we were going out but I wouldnt as I felt pressured thats why I broke it off. I sent him an email yesterday asking if his girlfriend knew about him inviting me & I said that I didnt think that she would be too pleased & so far I have not got a response or heard from him although he did log onto facebook earlier today

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A female reader, kellyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (7 March 2009):

kellyxxx agony auntIt may be that he still likes you, he may not actually have a girlfriend, he may have said that to make you feel secure. X

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009):

no - if you go you will have sex. or at least he will try to.

move on or delay it a long time.

star.x.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you kelly,but Im trying to figure out why he'd invite me over since hes obviously with someone else!

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A female reader, kellyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (7 March 2009):

kellyxxx agony auntI don't think that going to sweden is a good idea! Old feelings be re ignited and start off all sorts of problems! Don't go!! Move on! Xx

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