A
male
age
30-35,
*usha
writes:Hello ! Me and my Girlfriend is going to meet on this 18th July 2011.. I am planing to have sex and give her a little bit hint about it.. She was excited and expecting me for a great make out..But The problem is She is virgin and I am really feeling guilty for having sex cause I cannot marry her within next 5 or 6 years cause I need to be settle in life and have a lots of responsibilities for my family as we are living in Bangladesh so our Govt. Don't gives us the facilities like other 1st World Countries..And after loosing her virginity to me If I didn't able to marry her then her future husband will define that she had sex before which is not so much allowed or granted for a husband in our society and culture.. So here is my Question..Should I go for a sex with her on that day ?Cause I really can't imagine if someone else takes her virginity..It's hurts me a lot inside..And she really loves me too much.. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): I think you should treat her like an equal person and just tell her the truth.
Tell her how far away you are from being able to marry her. Tell her how you feel about taking her virginity and then probably not marrying her. Tell her you want her very badly but this is making you feel very guilty and you aren't sure you want to do it.
Let her make up her own mind about whether or not she wants to sleep with you. If she still sleeps with you and regrets it later, then it is not your fault. It was her choice and you didn't trick or pressure her into anything.
A
male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 Unless you get her pregnant, how would anyone know that she is no longer a virgin?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (16 July 2011):
 If you make her unmarriageable by having sex with her, then don't do it. Your feelings don't really mean much for her life in the long run, do they? Just because you'd feel bad when she does finally get married isn't a good enough reason to destroy her 'value' on the marriage market in your culture. A few minutes of sexual pleasure on your side compared with a lifetime of misery for her? Um, that's pretty easy to decide.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): you cant marry her within the next 5/6 years... but what about after?
Do you want to marry her some day? Does she want to marry you some day? If so, then having sex with her is no problem, as you'll be her future husband...even if it is quite some time away.
Also, there is no rush for sex, why not wait a while and see what happens?
If you know you cant marry her at any time, then maybe chat to her about it and get her thoughts. If she wants to risk her future to give you her virginity, its her choice. But you need to make sure she knows the consequences
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