A
female
age
36-40,
*eartbroken Dreams
writes:My Fiance and I recently seperated. (April 10th)We had been dating for 6 years. We were engaged.We were living together. We were bestfriends.We were soulmates. Planning to spend the rest of our lives together. We both had wedding bands. I wore mine with pride. I had a special inscription done on the inside of his band. He wore his everyday like we were already married. We were 100% loyal and committed as if we were married, just without the legal documents. We are still in love with eachother.He never told me he wanted to break up with me. I never told him I wanted to break up with him. I never did anything wrong to him or to his family. They were fine with me dating him for all these years. They knew we were engaged and planning to get married. His mother was fine with it. His father was fine with it. His father called me one day on the phone. He said I could no longer date his son, and that i'd have to find someplace else to live, or him and his wife were going to disown their son. And that if he didn't listen to his wife, she was going to divorce him. Of course I was upset, and I couldn't understand why. Why his family, his mother and his father, how they could be so selfish and only care about themselves. How they think they can control a responsible adult.Two people who love eachother so much, more then anything else in this world, how they could just take it all away. How they could crush their own child's heart and mold him into what they want him to be. I feel like im living in a romeo and juliet novel. Two people who love eachother so desperately they feel like they cannot live without the other. I'm heartbroken to say the least. I know he's just as heartbroken as I am. This is not what he wanted. This is not what I wanted. I thought this would never happen. I thought we were going to be together for the rest of our lives. He told me that he wants to be with me regardless of what his parents think. He told me that he doesn't want me to be on my own. He told me he was going to do everything he could to be with me. I had to leave, so I packed my things and left. Now I live on my own, I have my own place. And me and my fiance don't even talk anymore. Everytime I tried to call him and leave a message, I never got a call back. Everytime I've tried to email him he's never sent me a single word back. I am dying inside because I know that this is not him doing this to me. This is his parents trying to control him. His parents told him he can no longer talk to me. His mother has alot of issues and she had a hard time letting her son go out on his own. She thinks I am going to ruin her family because I am taking her son away. She put a stop on love because she doesn't want to lose her son.I don't think it's fair to her son or to myself. I am having such a hard time just trying to live. I don't see why I should just let 6 years of true love go for no reason at all. The inscription inside his band says "Always and Forever Together". My question is: Should I try to get back with my fiance or should I move on?
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crush, divorce, engaged, fiance, heartbroken, move on, soulmate, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sadeyes  +, writes (14 May 2008):
I'm sorry to be harsh,but if this guy really wanted to be with you,then he would BE with you!!! I understand youthink he is under his parents spell,but is he a man or a mouse and do you really want to be involved with a man that cant make a decision for himself??
I would try and move on as I feel if he really wanted you,he would move mountains to get you.Us females are too good at making excuses,but as other poster said he isnt chained to his parents so why hasn't he texted/called you when he has been on his own??
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 If your fiance cannot be independent and cannot think for himself,
I don't think you should go back for him.
He is just like a child and cannot make decisions for himself.
If he is strong and have leadership qualities,
he should walk away from his parents to be with you.
That will be the condition for accepting him back.
Be wise, next time , words are only words .
They meant nothing if they are not backed up by actions.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): I think that you should take a step back and wait for your fiance to come to you. He is obviously of legal age and doesn't have to listen to his parents on this topic but unfortunately he chooses to do so. I can't understand if he loves you that much, why is he ignoring you? I'm sure he is not with his parents 24/7 where he can't call or text you. I also think that your fiance may be somewhat of a mamma's boy and that is just going to lead to bigger and worse problems later on if you do get married. It appears that your man is too scared to stand up to his parents and that may never change. You will always come 2nd and that is a disaster waiting to happen. If you are living on your own now, why hasn't he moved in with you? I would definitely try to move on and wait and see what happens....stop trying to contact him. Let him hurt just as much as you are when he stops hearing from you and maybe that will push him alittle bit. Good Luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Sorry for the pain of your broken dreams, but unfortunately I'm quiet glad that you are not getting married. I don't think you ready, I don't think your ex is ready. You love one another, you were planning to get married, but because his mother dosen't like it you have broken up. That's not a good basis for a strong marriage or even a emotionally fullfilling relationship. How would you have coped as a wife, knowing that your mother in laws wishes are more important than yours. I hate to say this, and truely mean no harm, but both of you are too young.I met my partner when I was 18 and even though I knew my parents did not approve of him, I didn't care. I loved him, wanted to be with him and would allow nothing to stand in my way. When my father told me that my boyfriend was not in welcome in his house, I stopped visiting my father. Eventually they had to come around or lose their daughter. If you both can't put each other first, then you can't marry. You live alone, so why hasn't he moved in with you, why is he still living at home, without you. I know you'll hate to hear this but it really is for the best. If you married him, you be giving up control of your own life, and the life of your children to his mother. This "boy" is not marriage material at the moment.Now it's time to move on, spend time loving yourself, make new friends, catch up with the friends you haven't seen in a while. Watch TV, buy a cat... whatever it takes to stay busy, motivated and focused on a better future for yourself. Don't call him again. If he wants you he knows where to find you. The truth is, if he wanted to be with you, he'd be right beside you right now. You deserve so much better. Let go, and in time your heart will heal and you will see how unsuitable he was.
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