A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok this is a new one for me so any input is greatly appreciated. Met a guy online a few weeks ago, we email and chat once a day or every other day. He has my phone number but I don't have his. I do not ask or even mention anything about this but after about a week we are chatting and he says that he is not talking to anyone else and that he has stopped logging into the online dating site because there's something about me that he really likes and he wants to see where this goes. Ok that's nice but I'm not overly flattered by this because I try not to be a stupid girl :). Anyway i didn't say anything about me talking to anyone else or not, figured that was irrelevant. Well he suggests that we meet one night on the upcoming weekend. I say ok let's do it. We make plans then I never hear from him until the day after we were suppose to meet. He writes an email asking me not to give up on him, he's sorry he works a lot and will make it up to me. I write back that yes I had given up on him, but we could try again to meet. We make plans again. He never calls, chats or emails again until 2 days later. And it's basically the same thing except in this apology he says he wants me to meet him to go shopping with him and that he'll buy me an I'm sorry gift. This time I have not responded. Normally I would not think twice about forgetting about this man. Here's the thing though: in the very first conversation we had he tells me that he wants a relationship and a girlfriend and wants to have one person to live his life with. This to me is new, in my experiences no man has ever said to me those things. So I want a relationship too. Should I give up on this guy who is so openly ready to commit to a relationship? I'm really trying not to be an idiot and see what is really going on! Should I talk to him again? One more chance? Or should I just ignore him, not respond and move on? Thanks for reading and answering!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010): I'm not sure if he is telling the complete truth. He says such lovely things, and then fails to follow through on his words. I personally wouldn't bother with him anymore. Not because of what he has said about wanting a serious relationship, but because he has so far proved to be unreliable and sketchy. I have known guys like this, and it is a pattern that just keeps repeating itself over and over.
If you do decide to give him another chance though, then I would make it clear to him that this is the last time you will try again. If he messes you around again...then I think it would be best to walk away from him, no matter what excuses he makes, or what flattering words he says. I hope this helps! x
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