A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend and I broke up a month and a half ago. I have no feelings for him anymore whatsoever. However, we still talk frequently (usually every day) as friends, checking up on each other's day and just basic chitchat. I have been seeing someone new, and this person has asked that I stop talking to my ex completely. Things between me and this new guy are likely to get serious, but at this moment, we are not officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Does he have the right to ask me to stop talking to my ex? Is it weird and wrong that I am still so close to my ex? Should I listen to him? I suppose it is worth noting that my ex knows about my new guy and has realized that he wants me back and has also realized he still has feelings for me. What should I do? I don't feel like I should have to choose between two people, but at the same time I don't want to make my new guy uncomfortable, nor do I want to lose an old friend that I've known for much longer than this new guy. Any advice?
View related questions:
broke up, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lawgirl +, writes (5 March 2009):
Sometimes people need to realize the reason that they broke up with someone in the first place. Why did your relationship with your ex end? I think its akward to say that this person wasn't good enough for me personally to be the boyfriend or the girlfriend that I needed so what makes them good enough to be a friend? Unless you both just decided that you the two of you are not good together and the feelings were mutual, I don't think it makes too much sense to be friends right afterwards or maybe even at all. Point is, people think they are over someone and initially want to go straight to being friends after a break up simply because they miss the feeling of being with that person. It may be true that you have no feelings for your ex but you may still miss the FEELING of being with him. Which if continued will be an emotional affair behind your new guys back. If you care about this new guy in your life and can possibly see a future, then respect his wishes and don't mess it up over a guy where it didn't work but he wants you back now more than likely only because you have found someone new. You always realize what you had after its gone AND when you see that someone else is interested.
A
female
reader, lawgirl +, writes (5 March 2009):
Sometimes people need to realize the reason that they broke up with someone in the first place. Why did your relationship with your ex end? I think its akward to say that this person wasn't good enough for me personally to be the boyfriend or the girlfriend that I needed so what makes them good enough to be a friend? Unless you both just decided that you the two of you are not good together and the feelings were mutual, I don't think it makes too much sense to be friends right afterwards or maybe even at all. Point is, people think they are over someone and initially want to go straight to being friends after a break up simply because they miss the feeling of being with that person. It may be true that you have no feelings for your ex but you may still miss the FEELING of being with him. Which if continued will be an emotional affair behind your new guys back. If you care about this new guy in your life and can possibly see a future, then respect his wishes and don't mess it up over a guy where it didn't work but he wants you back now more than likely only because you have found someone new. You always realize what you had after its gone AND when you see that someone else is interested.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): I asked my BF to stop contact with his ex wife (no kids). I dont' think it's fair to the other person involved. You need to choose your relationship. If you want your new one and that's what it takes for him to continue, you need to make a decision
...............................
A
male
reader, mace  +, writes (5 March 2009):
 in my personal opinion it is really up to you no he can not ask this of you yes it might be weird for him but your ex was a part of your past and if you want to be freinds then that is fine as for him asking you to not talk to your ex that can only be your outcome all the best
mace
...............................
|
