A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Like to know what you'd do in these circumstances, Aunts and Uncles.I have a friend of about 4 years. We both act and met when we did a show together and we hit it off well (she's female). We met up for lunch occasionally and when she and her husband split up (he wanted kids she didn't) I was a bit of a shoulder to cry on. Please note there are NO romantic feelings in any way, shape or form!She can be a very good listener but I am finding the friendship very one sided. She has a busy job and social life but then so do I. However, I am the sort that always makes time for my friends and I guess I expect the same from my friends.When I split with my ex and moved into my flat, I invited her to the flatwarming. I bet my best friend she would cancel and, about four hours before, she texted me to say she'd had a very stressful week with work and felt very tired and emotional and needed to make sure she was well enough for the next day when she had to go help build the set.She regularly asks me to lunch but 8 times out of 10 will reschedule, sometimes because of work (and she is freelance, so I know it can't always be helped) and it's bugging me more and more.She has still not been to my new place and 5 weeks ago said "let's put a date in the diary, I need to come and see it and bring you a tree for your garden." So, the soonest we both had a date in our diaries was tomorrow (yes, we're that busy). She said she'd come over and I didn't need to cook we'd have a takeaway and a really good catch-up. I saw my best friend today and bet her £5 my other friend would cancel. Sure enough, a text at 6 tonight to say she has just got back from 5 days away, has to go away again on Tuesday and needs to recharge her batteries and do some chores, so can we take a raincheck.I was seriously pissed off, as this was a long-standing 'date' and I turned down other things to keep it open. It's not like I'm the one making the effort, she is always the one pressing to fix dates and then she keeps breaking them. And by text, rather than actuallty ringing, which is what I would do.I simply replied "that's fine" but said no more.I've had enough of this one-sided friendship but can't decided whether to just let it fade out by never making any effort in contacting her and if she contacts me to reply very briefly and with no urgency; or whether I should actually say something along the lines of "look, we're both too busy to maintain a friendship, let's just go down our separate roads".What would you do?
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (27 June 2011):
 Just let it fade out, if she contacts you be friendly etc, if she wants to catch up with you, tell her you'll pencil her in, let her know if you dont hear from her a few times before the meet up date confirming, you will assume she cannot make it.
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