A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a boyfriend I been with for almost 3 years now. We are very happy together we have the occasional fight mostly because I am very jealous. I don't want to share him with any one else.He says he doesn't want to be with anyone else. He just wants to fulfil certain fantasies Like a 3some. Or he, me and another girl. I don't want to. I think that's nasty. I don't want some naked person in MY space. I'm also afraid he may prefer the other person. I told him IF we do it I don't want him talking to the person again. I've seen too many cases where the guy and the other girl decide its ok for them to sneak around and have sex since the girl was once invited into our bedroom. I don't want to him to leave in search of those fantasies and I don't want to betray myself and do it just to make him happy. Does he staying with me despite the fact that I would never do that count as a great sacrifice for our relationship? What do I do?! :-(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): Tell him youd love to have a mff threesome if you can then have a mmf threesome to fulfill YOUR fantasy. He'll probably think twice about it then.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): If you do this to make him happy then you'll just end up resenting him for making you do it.
I'm sure he's told you it's just a fantasy but it's not. If you do this it will be cheating.
The only time a 3some works is when both partners want to do it or when it's three people who aren't involved with each other that just want some fun.
I repeat, you will hate him for it. Just picture in your mind watching your boyfriend pleasure another woman, insert his penis into another woman or have her mouth around his penis right in front of you. How does that thought make you feel? Then imagine what you'd feel if it was actually happening.
Just say no.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): Honestly, I think you should go with what you yourself are comfortable with. If he loves you, he will accept the fact that you do not want a threesome, and that will be that.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Don't do it. You don't want to do it. If he can't respect that, then he doesn't even deserve to be with you.
Ask him how he'd feel if you two did it with another GUY.
It's just a fantasy, theres so much more to a relationship than inviting someone else into the bedroom.
Don't do it if you aren't comfortable with it, if you do it, you'll end up being jealous, disgusted with him, and chances are resentful.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Don't do it. NOTHING about sex should be forced. You will regret it if it's not something you feel good about. If he really loves you he wont push the issue.
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A
female
reader, bro  +, writes (7 September 2010):
three words... Don't do it.
It may be fun at the time who knows you might even enjoy it yourself,but that is not the point.You have been with this guy for three years and you clearly love eachother,why throw this all away and believe me,you are throwing it away....
As a jealous partner myself,i know how someone in the same situation would react to a situation like this. Afterwards,you will become bitter and resentful and inevitably torture him daily about sleeping with another woman,because that is how you will come to see it.Its going to put a serious strain on your relationship that will never end positively.
Tell him its a fantasy...everybody has fantasies...not all are meant to be acted upon.try toning it down and seeing what else he likes and suggesting you satisfy him in a more low key way :)
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A
female
reader, Newbie31 +, writes (7 September 2010):
 I wouldn't give into the 3some just to make him happy. He should respect the fact that you aren't comfortable with that. And if its a lack in the bedroom maybe try something different that could possibly take the place of the 3some. And depending on if he's a good humored guy, ask him how he would feel if u wanted to do a threesome with him u and another MAN. turn the tables, if he's not willing to do that for you, you definately shouldn't for him (not to say u want sex with 2 guys)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): You shouldnt do anything you dont want to. Especially when it comes to sex, it should be a special bond bewtween two people, that is unless both of you want to have a 3some, which you said you didnt, so dont. Its that simple. If he leaves you just because you wont have a 3some, then you two werent meant to be together then. I wish you the best of luck.
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