A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:alright, long question here: ok so about 6 months ago i had told this girl whom i had been really good friends with for about 2 years that i liked her as more than a friend and she was super cool about it but she told me that she liked someone else which i accepted and so we decided to remain friends. Anyway a few weeks later we ended up getting together because i was home from university for the weekend and we went and had lunch. on my way back to university i texted her thanking her for taking the time to get together and i also asked her if i had told her i liked her sooner would she have gone out with me and she said no because we had already become great friends and she didn't want that to change and she made it clear that nothing was ever going to happen between us which i was totally ok with. So now we are both done school for the summer and i asked her if she would like to get together and grab lunch sometime and she said sure but then out of the blue she felt the need to tell me again that us going out as friends was just that and nothing more and that she hopes she isn't leading me on, so i told her that this was not the case and that i realized that nothing was going to happen between us and that those decisions were made 5 months ago. OK so here is my question, before reading week i saw a shirt that said "Bazinga" on it and i was going to give it to her as a friendly birthday gift but we never got the chance to get together so i had to wait a month, but now im worried that she will see this as an attempt on my part to try and make something happen and that is totally NOT the case, so how do i tell her this?any help is greatly appreciated
View related questions:
text, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): Simply tell her the truth!
If you really want to give her the T-shirt... Go ahead!
But, as you give it to her explain that you do understand that nothing is going to change and that present is just a friends gift that's all!!! You tought she may like that's all!!!
Done! simple!
But if you don't know if you should give it to her or not... well maybe you should consider Cindy Cares words over there!!!
You should ask if giving that shirt to her will end up making you more affectioned of her or not... (close to her...)
Remember You'll be the one with the heart broken if it happens... If you don't feel like that (and you're sure of it) just give it saying its a humble friends gift with no underline message attached to it... And you only want her friendship!
Good Luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): Dude very thoughtful on the gift. Nice :)
This girl however is a waste of ur time. She has no forever in friends zone and now youre starting to chase and that will scare her off if you try to pursue her cause she doesnt see you as more than a friend. My advice: This is the girl you occasionally only say hello to in the hallways. Nothing more. Keep lookin' man, youll find a girl who is interested in your gift giving. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 Simple, don't give her the T shirt. There's nothing wrong in exchanging gifts between friends, the point is that you still would like to be more than friends with her, and she knows it . That you may have accepted the fact that you got stuck into the friend zone and this will not evolve into more, does not cancel the fact that , if you could have it your way, it would NOT be so. She knows this, so anything vaguely intimate or affectionate, anything more than strictly pals talking about school and hobbies and whatnot, will embarass her/annoy her / make her uncomfortable. Either she will take the gift exactly the way you don't want her to take it, or she 'll feel bad that she coulodn't respond to your feelings the way you wanted.
...............................
|
