A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've always thought high school relationships are a waste of time. I've always thought that senior guys and freshman girls getting together was wrong. Now, I met a girl who I really like and really likes me. We kissed for the first time recently. My problem: I'm 18 and she's 15 . Almost 16, as mature both emotionally and physically as any 17 year old. She's totally drama-free. She's great. But she's still 15. I feel terrible. I've only ever been involved with older girls, and I like this one more than any. I just can't figure it out. She says that she'd like to date if I'm comfortable, or we could forget about the kiss and move on as friends. I don't know if either is possible, because I'm going to college and really attracted to her. I feel like a creep. I just don't want to hurt her. I don't want to get sexually involved, thats not at issue- I just want yo hold her hand. I feel like we would both be social pariahs. I don't know what to do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): It's just that it's generally seen as creepy when a guy goes with a younger girl like this. Thats why I feel creepy.
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (12 May 2010):
Well, statistically, the odds are definitely against you. On the other hand, among my acquaintances I know at least one couple who started in similar circumstances - and have been married (to each other) for almost 40 years.
If what you wrote represents your true feelings, why should you feel like a creep? Or be treated as an outcast? Do you really expect to hurt her?
At your ages, the 3 year difference is significant, in spite of how mature she seems. Both of you will change as you mature over the next few years - she, probably more than you. You may find yourselves growing together, or apart. If both of you know this going into the relationship, and truly accept either possibility, then it's OK to pursue the relationship.
The distance actor is probably more of a problem than the age difference. She's not ready to make long-term commitments to you, and you shouldn't think of her in those terms yet. Enjoy each other's company and affections this summer - and yeah, stay away from full sex. If she wants to be exclusive to you (especially after this summer), accept it as a special gift but don't press her for that commitment.
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