A
female
age
41-50,
*apnass
writes:I m a 28 year old female, tall, fair and good looking. Right from my school days I have been into various relationships, college, and at work been involved with various men emotionally and physically with almost al of them. May of them were affairs and then for some reason or the other there wre break ups and new guy landed immediately. When 23, I found a guy- good looking with al the traits of a husband, we fell in love and after got married. Everything was fine til first few months of marriage and then he moved out for some work for few months, and meanwhile I met a guy and kind of got attached physically with him, I didn’t like my husbands decision of mving out and after lot of fights etc he came back, the spark, love or passion is no more..he loves me cares for me, but there is nothing physical between us, its been almost 3 years we haven’t has sex at all…now that I have completed 4 years of marriage , there is a pressure from his and my family to have kids…he says wil have it once to have kid and I feel its very mechanical and funny too. He has no interest in sex and doesn’t feel attracted to me as well though we sleep on the same bed and live together- leave apart sex we haven’t even kissed each other for years…meanwhile I have developed numerous relationships and now I don’t feel attracted to him anymore and cant think of anything physical at all, though I have the soft corner for him but no drive. He says he is ready to revamp the relationship but I am sure it wont work and u don’t work on love and passion, and I am sure to keep cheating on him too.. This life seems very mechanical to me, should I file a divorce and move on? Please help !!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, Snowe  +, writes (23 February 2011):
You got married at 23. What did you think life would be like? Maybe instead of having numerous affairs, you should take a moment and think. What is it that you want for your life? You obviously don't want to love this man or have a baby or you wouldn't be reacting instead of thinking. So what is it that you want? I think that the unselfish thing to do would be to give this man a divorce. Why does he deserve to be cheated on time and time again by a confused woman
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): You have deep psychological issues and the sooner to get it resolved the better.I think u have no respect for yourself therefore you sleep around so much. Perhaps a divorce is best. I would have to think of you bringing an innocent kid into this world when you continue to sleep around. A dysfunctional unhealthy lifestyle.Perhaps once you understand why you behave in this manner can you then understand the real you.Your marriage was over when you strayed with the first man, you had endless encounters with other men as well.Unhealthy indeed.Kindly seek urgent psychological help and plse do not have a baby.Don't be pressurised into having a baby. And I hope your hb isn't as well.Talk to him and tell him you don't. Love him anymore and you want out of the marriage. But don't run to another man- work on your self esteem and solve your deep issues.LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): Firstly I think to bring a child into a loveless marriage is wrong. It sounds as though you have a strong need for physical and emotional passion in a relationship, hence finding this elsewhere and you need to take a step back and think about exactly what you want from a relationship and the kind of man you would like to be with. If this is not your husband then yes, move on and get a divorce. I too am in a loveless marriage, no sex for years and it is heartbreaking - you are wasting your life. Do you want to be married and all that entails in terms of loyalty and commitment? Being honest with yourself is the key to solving this dilemma. Don't feel pressured by family - this is your life and you have time to change it.
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