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Should I get back with my ex even if he took advantage of me financially?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 March 2014) 6 Answers - (Newest, 20 March 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My ex boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago and after seeing him at work . He texted me Good job tonight and he feels hurt and embarrassed to take a break from relationship. Should I get back with him even if he took financially advantage of me?

I

View related questions: a break, at work, broke up, my ex, text

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A male reader, Gauntlet France +, writes (20 March 2014):

Gauntlet agony auntOh, dear ! He fired you, that's HIS OWN (and selfish) decision. The fact he took advantage of you financially doesn't even matter. Would you just take back a job you've just been fired from even after you did a good work, if you had other offers, plenty of other choices ?

And choice you have. Just dare to look for somebody nicer, it sounds like it should not be that hard.

Side note: it has been said again and again that "nice guys finish last" and while it's often true, I notice "nice girls often finish with nasty characters" too. I feel it could be up to girls to better choose their bf in order to kill two birds with one stone, it's to say to fix that two problems at last, but do they really want to ?

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A female reader, Marilissa75 United States +, writes (20 March 2014):

Marilissa75 agony auntYou are aware that he took advantage of you financially and that he ended the relationship and hurt you by doing that. Keep your dignity and guard your heart and your future by just saying no and staying away from him. Move forward!

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A male reader, Myau New Zealand +, writes (20 March 2014):

Myau agony auntno

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2014):

Seriously?!!!

I can give you two reasons why you shouldn't:

1) "My ex boyfriend broke up with me"

2) "he took financially advantage of me"

Your ego was bruised that he took the initiative to breakup; thereby, rejecting you. You have more reason then he does to call it quits.

You "allowed" him to take advantage of you; hoping somehow that would avert his decision to end it. Money apparently wasn't enough. Now are you going to tell us he owes you money? Unless he signed a promissory note, it's a gift.

Of course, it's a convenient excuse to harass him by calling in your debt under the guise of collections.

He is now your ex by self-elimination. You are a lucky lady. You just don't know it yet. He took you for a few bucks, but the fact remains; that he is no longer your boyfriend.

Hey, detaching is going to be as painful as pulling teeth;

but the relief after healing is indescribable. You regain freedom and get your identity back. You regain all your power and make all your own decisions.

You are now single and free; and have some work to do on yourself. Starting with calling your friends and family around you to talk some sense into you. You need people close to you to help you. We can't guard your phone, or stop by your house; or take your calls in the middle of the night. You need someone by your side to talk to. Not him, for crying out loud!!!

Take some days off. Call your mother and dad, and tell them what happened. You need your parents to do that thing they do when they make you feel dumb for doing something wrong.

It helps in cases like these. Then they end up on your side, and you feel invincible. You need parental advice.

Come on. You know the answer to your question better than we do.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 March 2014):

Honeypie agony auntAre you serious?

If a friend ASKED you that question what would you tell her? Sure, take him back let him use you a little bit longer, maybe he can take you for a little more.

Girl, you asked on DC because you ALREADY know what you should do. And that is NOT get back with this guy.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (19 March 2014):

Is this a rhetorical question? What do you think makes sense? Now if he was the only guy in the world then maybe you should take him back, but since there are billions it's just not worth it. It's not just that he took advantage of you financially, it's what that signifies. A good guy who cared about you wouldn't do that.

So he either doesn't care about you or he's not a good guy.

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