A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband of a year and 2 months; wants a divorce he was yelling for a year that we need to go our separate ways then we got married and it changed to he want out and now two years later it's he's gone but he will finish out the lease which ends in several months. The arrangement is he sleeps on the couch. I asked him did he think I was a fool all of a sudden he started acting harsh when his class mates started calling him for preparation for a class reunion. The same class reunion that he sleep with 4 of his class mates a few months before we got together and told me about as to why one class mate keep calling. His rage with me is that I will not leave his phone alone and that if someone (ex sleep partner or a woman calls him that I blast him out rather than the caller). Its the same way in public. His ex's will mean mug me and it seems like he is always protective of them which causes our arguments hence the we need to go our separate ways. BTW he didn't graduate high school. He was a tough kid in high school. Anyway, his mom has helped him keep the women from his pass in his life always telling him the updates. She also told him on our wedding date that he was still in love with his first wife and why was he marrying me? Both his first and second wife cheated on him. He's a nice person for the most part but he shows off his fast car and talk like he makes big money. I feel like crying all the time I have tried to ignore most things but now he has found work for 4 days in his old neighborhood where his old crackhead friends are and I am scared to death that his old addiction will come back. He is a recovering crack addicted it has been over 9 years but he has remain in touch with his old friends. He has been awfully cranky since this assignment. Now he says I don't love if feels like all I want to do is fight you. Then he says he cares for me deeply. I am tired I have been looking for a full-time job cause I was fired a few months ago. Please help me I feel so alone and I just want to runaway from this marriage but I have tried to hang in there because it's a 4th for me I am tired of failing because I didn't fight hard enough I don't even know what I am fighting for.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): Why is it what he wants? Is your life not important as well. What I see is a selfish man who has been married 3 times, and thinks its ok to yell and neglect his wife? The same way his father treated his mother? Also why is it that he can use the old, 'lets go our separate ways?'- whenever he wants to do something without you?You will do well to rid yourself of him. I watched you struggle to text your question and I wanted to scream at you. You have done too much of giving yourself away take back you. You are not and never will be alone its ok. It's time to rebuild.
A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (7 March 2011):
if you want to leave your husband, then you should do so because it sounds like he really doesn't want to be married to you. you may care for someone, but that doesn't mean you want or should be married to them.
If it's only guilt over "not fighting hard enough" that's making you stay in your marriage, it sounds like you have fought enough already. If your husband doesn't want to be with you, it's not your duty or obligation to change his mind and make him want to be with you.
if you're crying all the time, and feel like you just want to run away from this marriage, it's probably a big sign that you should leave your husband. Don't feel guilty about not trying hard enough. Enough is enough...good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): If you don't know what you're fighting for, then that means you're not fighting for anything in particular. You're just tormenting yourself. Don't fight for this marriage just because it's your 4th. if it's not right, it's not right.
big red flag was that your husband had all along said he wanted to leave you, before you even married and then you got married...of course he wants out of the marriage - he never wanted in, in the first place.
If your husband is treating you badly, and he wants a divorce, I say give him the divorce. there's nothing to be gained by staying with him except that you get to tell yourself that you are married. (and if that's the reason you want to stay, then really examine why this is)
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