A
female
age
30-35,
*andie
writes: 3 months ago I met someone and for first time in a very long time, I started having feelings for a guy. I fell in love very hard. But feels like I keep doing stuff to mess it up.He says he loves me so much and I am his world but also feels like i keep disappointing him. He is currently upset with me for borrowing money from family instead of him as he feels i think he is not good enough. I just dont want him to think I am taking advantage of him later.We have been dating for 3 months and I still haven't met his parents. He says he us not ashamed of me and wants to spend his life with me but also doesn't say why I haven't met his parents yet. I am confused. Should I fight for this relationship? And if I do how do I show him that I really love him and trust him?
View related questions:
fell in love, money Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (24 January 2017):
Have you asked him? Hey how come I have not met your parents yet? Should we set up a meeting soon it has been three months now and sure they would want to meet me?
Also it has only been three months, it is your business who you borrow money from. Him saying he is disappointed in you and upset with you is not good. It looks like he is trying to make you feel bad about yourself and that is never okay.
I don't think this guy loves you, it has only been three months and he is already showing some worrying behavior, plus you have not met family which is a huge red flag. Please be careful.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (24 January 2017):
I always hear BIG alarm bells ringing when someone uses the "D" word - disappointed. It is a word people use to make others feel guilty and to control them. Look how it has made YOU feel. Also - and this really did worry me - grand declarations of love and devotion after such a short time? In love? Really? Sweetheart, you are both in LUST. Take a deep breath and take a little step back. You know next to nothing about this guy. You know only what he WANTS you to know. It is easy to hide facets of our personalities for such a short period of time. To really love a person, you need to know a lot more about them than you do about someone you have known for such a short time. If you can't even ask him outright why he has not introduced you to his parents yet, what sort of a relationship do you have? So my advice? Firstly, take a step back and slow things down. Enjoy the relationship and stop rushing it. Secondly, take more notice of what this guy says to control you - because telling someone they "disappoint" you could be the start of what could become very controlling behaviour.
...............................
|