A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I’m sad.I recently attended a wedding where I was surprised to find the groom turn towards me during his dinner reception speech and announce that he’d like to spend a few minutes talking about me. What followed was a long speech (or so it seemed) on what he felt were my qualities and strengths. He believes that I excel at whatever I touch, quickly mastering new challenges. He went on to talk about my accomplishments and how I don’t really know what to do right now. The message was that sadly, I had yet to find my passion in life and that he sincerely hopes I do soon. The bride then got up and directed the same message to me under everyone’s watchful eyes. It was of course very flattering. This may seem really odd but I’ve been very sad ever since and hopefully someone on here will understand this.Not knowing what to do is frustrating and perhaps a little embarrassing when everyone else seem to be getting on with their lives while you keep racking up degrees that don’t necessarily captivate you. I secretly feel like a failure in some respects and those wedding speeches really underscored, quite publicly, how lost and undecided I am. Not only did they flesh out quite plainly what the reality of my situation is but they also reiterated how high others’ expectations of me in life are. I truly appreciate how those around me want the best for me but how could I ever live up to that?Is it wrong for me to feel this way? Should I not feel a little embarrassed by such a speech?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): I think it was a little bit harsh to hear those words so publicly and perhaps a wedding speech is not really the place to pass comment on what other people are or are not 'achieving'. It would have been nicer to perhaps write to you afterwards, thanking you for coming to the event and explaining their feelings. I feel for you as I think they have gone over the top and been inappropriate. However its time to move on of course and perhaps this is the time you turn around and show everyone you are you and its not about ticking boxes, having trophies of achievement or being in a clear direction. Sometimes in life we drift and sometimes we are extremely active. Don't beat yourself up. I don't think you need counselling but maybe a life coach or similar person who is impartial and can help you explore ideas without their own emotions or influence getting in the way could be a way forward. You need support not public humiliation to get going again.
A
male
reader, RON_499  +, writes (5 January 2009):
 well it is natural for u to fell like this n u actually realise quite a lot about the situation ure in...so do this k...dnt feel bad k...stop thinkin about it..n try doing things that appeal to u..if ure nt inclined towards anything dnt wry...it'll all work out...trust me k....u sound a lot like me though...it seems that u really care about people n find it hard to say no to stuff bt people say no to u all the time maybe...its just an assumption k...my advice is just move on...thinkin about it will not help n so u should try to follow whatever,anything that ure interested in k just let that take u where ever u need to go..but make sure that u dedicate urself completely k...it maybe hard n u may feel dissapoited or feel that u may not be able to do it...but then say this to urself:i can be whatever i want to be,n no1 out there will be able to change that"...dont push urself...but try ur best and give it all uve got at whatever u wanna do...excel in that k...n always think of happy stuff...that'll help a lot...thats all i guess i wouldve typed out more but i gotta go pee lol!....sorry...if u need any extra help...fell free to msg me k...best of luck n keep smiling..... :-]
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