A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:[OP original title]Ive asked the question before on this site, but i feel like i didnt get much perspective on it. Anyways, ill simplify my story. Me and my girlfriend for the past year had a great relationship, i had trust issues that we worked out until the last month or so of the relationship. Things went downhill fast. Before we started dating her ex was pretty cold to her, but she was still with him because she couldnt leave due to her situation of being stuck in another state and not being able to afford to move out until later. We made it last long distance, had some great times, had some downs, whenever i came out to see her everything was wonderful, she made me promise not to hurt her, and i sealed that promise with a kiss(insert corny joke here)Anyways, i have issues, its hard for me to get close to people, i subconsciously push them away without realizing it. I get jealous over ridiculous things. The straw that broke the camels back was when i was downright cold to her after she texted me and assumed she was giving me attitude. We argued, told her id give her space, but i failed at it, and asked her if she still felt the same. She said she didnt feel the same about me, even though we constatly told each other we felt like we were soul mates, and that we never felt this deeply about someone else before. She said she wasnt happy with the relationship right now and for the past few weeks shes felt hurt and bitter towards me. She distanced herself away from me to save her own sanity. I told her that the distance was driving me crazy, and the main reason behind alot of my recent issues. Anyways, i tried a last ditch effort of pleading with her to give me one last chance but she said she couldnt do that right now because she has given me plenty in the past, and ditched other people for much less. I told her at the time that i couldnt be friends, but that was out of the hurt and desperation i was feeling. Removed her from facebook and tried to block her on messangers, etc etc. She seemed pretty torn up about that, said she wished it didnt have to come down to that. The next day i said i made a pretty big mistake, and that i wanted to keep our connection open, even if we were to just remain friends. I havent talked to her since, and this was nearly a week or so ago. I know it didnt help when i got a little mad that she started talking to this crazy guy who had a crush on her and made threats to me when we were together, but she said she wouldnt talk to him again. I applogized and said i was going through a fit of emotions and she just said she understands and that was the last time we spoke. I sent her an e-mail to try and clear things up, to let her know that im accepting the situation, and working on changing myself before i try and work on a relationship again. I know she removed me from AIM and MSN, but she never blocked me. I'm starting to feel like shes looking at me in the same light as her ex, who she said was absolutely horrible to her, refused to change, and was a down right douchebag to her until the very end, and tried to take her for everything she was worth. Should i take that as a sign as her willing to talk to me again when things have cleared up? I cant help but to try and give myself hope, but im starting to think im instilling myself with false hope. I really want to think that its still meant to be, but that all the recent hurt weve given each other has to subside before we can work it out together. Should i anticipate never talking to her again?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): you just dug yourself a big hole man, i am in a long distance relatinonship to and i am about in the middle of where you are, we just had a fight over trust issues and i was so close to saying to her that id give her space, now im just not going to wsay anything, i think the best thing for you is to wait a few weeks, let the dust settle, then contact her ande see how she is, she will probably most likelyu be missing you, that is your best bet! otherwise u can go no contact and forget her
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