A
female
age
41-50,
*herrypop
writes:For the past 3 years, I have been involved with a man, a co-worker, who has been separated. Our involvement has been a "physical" one. We've enjoyed each other very much. I'm 29, and this is the first man I've ever been with period. What I'm concerned about is what I heard recently: Another co-worker told me that he said his divorce would be finalized in a couple of months. I knew he was separated, but I didn't know that he had actually went through the divorce process. He hasn't said anything to me about it. Should I take this as a sign that I'll be getting dumped soon? Is it possible that he will be dumping me after the divorce is final?I know that it's just physical and all that, but at the same time, I fear getting hurt, and want to avoid that as much as possible. How do I handle this?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 There is no indications from your post that he will dump you once his divorce is final. You are just having insecurities.
It is a good sign that he is finally divorce and the road is clear for you .
You cannot avoid being hurt when you in love or having a relationship .
A
female
reader, cnith +, writes (19 April 2010):
 you avoid being hurt by realising it's JUST physical. It means nothing. He didn't commit to you, you didn't commit to him. It's purely sexual. No one had feelings for the other...well, at least on his side, he had no feelings for you romantically. If he did, he wouldn't have treated you like a sex toy. But he did, and you are. This wasn't a relationship. This was just sex.
Why would you be hurt by what you never had?
Putting that aside, next time, DON'T do it again. Respect yourself. In fact, I say you dump HIM and get yourself a real man. One who doesn't cheat because even though they're divorcing, he's STILL married. But if you're one of those who doesn't care, then consider this, find a man who will treat you like a queen. And treat you as more than just a place do dump his load. Sorry for the graphics.
Treat yourself better and the next guy should be decent. You deserve so much more than this. Seriously.
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