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Should I even bother trying to be friends with this guy again?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 September 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2013)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Helloo. c8

So, turns out I was kinda thrown into a situation. This male once-friend of mine (let's call him Tim) asked me to the dance, and I said no, because I had a boyfriend. I hadn't told him beforehand that I did, because I don't really care much for telling people about my personal life out of the blue. He seems to be understanding, and fine with it.

Then, the next day, I begin to notice he starts to avoid me, and gossip petty things about me. He'd been giving me the cold shoulder. Typical high school dilemma. I decide to have as little interaction with him as possible, because I didn't want to agitate him.

A few days pass, and today, I found out that Tim and I had been elected Dutch and Duchess for homecoming. When I got home today, being that forgetful person I am, I'd completely spaced as to what we were to wear when introduced as Dutch and Duchess. I decide to text Tim, and he replies with, "I don't know, ask your boyfriend".

I was done with having to avoid him, and had nasty comments thrown at me, so I ask him if we could bury the hatchet. He responds by saying he'd fed up with my games. I'd truly not known what he meant, because I hadn't spoke to him all that much since school started, and it's not like I've been flirty with him. In fact, quite the opposite.

So what should I do? I would really like to move on from this, and maybe become friends with Tim again? This isn't the first time he's acted like this. Should I just not even bother? Or is this just a stupid post all together, ha.

Sincerely,

Confused in Kentucky

View related questions: flirt, move on, text

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (28 September 2013):

Honeypie agony auntHe is mad because he thought he had you "bagged" - that all he had to do was ask you out. You friend-zoned him and he didn't even know - so yea he is bitter and petty.

He isn't CAPABLE of being a friend. He wanted more. Now all he wants is to make you feel like crap. Keep ignoring him, he is a jerkwad.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (28 September 2013):

CindyCares agony aunt Tim is a sore loser. He had misread the signals, he had asked you to the dance because he THOUGHT you had shown signs of interest in him, and when you said no I have a bf... he felt left with egg on his face , or that you had been leading him on. He feels that you should have STATED clearly that you were taken, just in order to avoid this kind of misnderstandings- and avoid him to be turned down.ngs

HIS problem ( unless, of course, you had been all flirty , and touchy feely and making eyes at him. But you never did, right ?:)

Of course, if Tim was a bit older , a bit more mature, he would handle the situation with much more aplomb.

As it is... eh well, think of how many friends he bragged with " I am going to ask her, deal done - I know she WANTS me "- in his mind you caused him loss of street cred , hence the vinegarish unfriendly attitude.

Do you really want to bother smoothing his ruffled feathers ? considering it's not even the first time he rebukes your civil attempts to patch up and start over ?...

Naaaah. I understand that , now that you are single again, maybe you see in a different light the chance of having a Tim at hand , as a friend for now, and then you never know ....... but, even at your young age, life is too short to sweat over such small stuff. You should not fight for anybody's friendship or attention, if it's meant to be , it will flow naturally. If not- next please.

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