A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should I end my relationship?. My boyfriends friends make disrespectful comments , such as saying "get them off" to me ( meaning my underwear ), and asking my boyfriend if his finger has been inside me ( you know where ), and making gay rumours up about my boyfriend. It is very annoying. My boyfriend sometimes tells them off about it, but today, he smiled like he was trying not to laugh and pointed to his friend and made a gesture as if he was going to hit his friend ( in a jokey way). I must add that some of these men are much older than I am, and so is my boyfriend. Also I feel left out sometimes as my boyfriend has spent more time with his friends than me lately.
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female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (20 January 2017):
 Ew..what a bunch of pigs and where is your bf balls, his handbag? Standing up and defend your honour is what he should be doing. I would be mortified if my partner sat idly by without so much as a " Mate, thats my girlfriend your talking about, a little respect hey"
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 January 2017):
 The sound like teenagers going through puberty! Do grown men really behave like this? Eugh well you can bet that your boyfriend shares the same sense off humor as them he just hides it from you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2017): It sounds like your boyfriend is trying to respond in the best ways by 1) telling them off when he can and 2) laughing it off as nothing and fake slapping them showing his disapproval. He can't tell them off EVERY SINGLE TIME someone makes a tasteless joke, which explains his second reaction. He seems like a good guy trying to do the right thing by you.
Unfortunately that way of men talking is pretty common "locker room talk" (to quote Trump...ugh). If your boyfriend is respectful to you and doesn't make those kinds of comments in your presence I wouldn't see it as a reason to break up with him. He may have fallen in with a "jock" crowd who talks like this, but may not be a bad guy himself.
Perhaps he can have a talk with them to save the locker room talk for all-male events, and explain to them that you find it awkward and disrespectful in your presence.
In the meantime, just ignore his friends and try to make more "couple" friends in future, as Denizen mentioned.
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (19 January 2017):
 Mature people form friendships on similar values/ qualities and interests... he clearly sees eye to eye with these pr**ts and is of a similar character. This is clearly how they usually carry on.Think of your friends.. they wouldnt behave like this and neither would you. To a large extent your friends are reflective of you. If he was 18-25 it would be more normal... Past thirty-5 it's VERY immature.While they may think it's a laugh, it's disrespectful/ humiliating for you- if you tell him it angers and hurts you, and he doesnt sincerely tell them to cut it out, then he doesnt care about your happiness and likely isnt all that mature for a relationship... despite his age :/ (for his age it's weirdly immature)You have the back of people you love. That includes friends... if my bf said disrespctful comments about my friends (he did once about her not being the sharpest tool) I put him in his place- it's a p**s take and he should be p***ed off at their behavior. Talk to him, explain how it makes you feel, if he carries on there's your answer... mutual respect is essential in relationship and I would not respect someone who kept on like this. Good lcuk
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (19 January 2017):
 They sound like an unsavoury bunch. If you have to endure this you might save up a few choice comebacks to use.
In the longer term you need to start building a different social circle.
Organise a few dinners with your friends and their partners - not the foul-mouthed ones. This should lead to reciprocal dinner dates.
Slowly you rebuild your joint circle of acquaintances and exclude your boyfriend's coarse buddies. Continuing to mix with them will not lead either you to a better life.
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