A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Alright, I have a problem. My head hurts from thinking about it and analyzing it. Let me give you some background. Basically I met this guy, B, sophomore year of high school. We hit it off immediately. Literally the week that we started dating I met my husband to be, C. C was an older man which was exciting to me. B and I stopped seeing each other although we remained friends. C eventually moved out of the state and we had a long distance relationship for the next 2 years. B and I became friends with benefits (if you know what I mean) during that time. Then when I graduated from high school I moved to C's state and attended college, and lost touch with B. C and I got married 7 years later. Things are alright. Not bad - but not great. I had never forgot about B and during an especially hard time in my marriage, I broke down and searched for B on the internet. We emailed for about a year. I recently went home to see family, I also saw B. Our willpower was no match for us. Among other things, we talked about how things could have been between us and how we never really got a chance to see how things would have been. It has been two weeks since we have seen each other and I can't stop thinking about him. We communicate in one form or another on a regular basis. I really want to be with B but don't know if ending my marriage is worth going on a hope and a prayer with B. All I know is how I feel when I am with B and I can't stop thinking about it. PLEASE HELP!!
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friend with benefits, long distance, moved out, older man, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): ask for a threesome, that way you all get what you want
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): Thank you for all your words of wisdom. I know that only I can answer my questions and make the ultimate decision. I appreciate all your time and answers. They definately have helped me to look at this from a different perspective. I still don't know what I am going to do; but I do know that none of this is fair to all parties involved. I hope a will make the right decision. I am still very open to more responses!
Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, ladybug  +, writes (18 June 2007):
 If your not happy with your husband, split up immediately! having an affair with an unfinished business is tough, you will not be happy.. It's better to end up peacefully than to cheat with your husband. if you are happy with B be consistent, i dont want u to end up in a really upseting result.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (18 June 2007):
 I empathize. It's not easy to filter out intense feelings when trying to hear your inner voice.
It all depends on your moral compass. If it is correctly aligned then your inner voice speaks quite clearly, no matter how loudly those pesky emotions scream.
So, to help you listen to your inner voice, try to answer the following questions: 1) Why did you choose to marry C; 2) What is the foundation of your marriage? Be honest with yourself when answering these questions. Truthful answers will guide you through the decisions you must make about your marriage. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (17 June 2007):
 From the way you have been talking it does not sound like you should be in this marriage anymore anyway, i know i would not want to stay with someone if things were just alright.
You should not end your marriage on the hope that there could be something between you and B, you should end it because you don't by the sounds of it really want to be in it.
If you leave your husband it then paves the way for a relationship with B and if it's meant to be then it will happen.
Take care.xx.
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