| A
age
,
anonymous
writes: My ex and I have been separated for 3 and half years, there have been many women and of course lots of hard drama. This last woman has been quite a challenging event with her many harrassing messaging, fake accounts to contact. Its been quite horrible for me and our grown up kids. To the point where my kids dont talk to their father. This Christmas we found out my ex's nephew is in ICU and is in bad shape, the kids do not want to go with what has happened, and now my mother in law had a stroke Christmas Eve. No one has told us, but we found out from friends, he never picked up a phone to tell his kids that their grandma had a stroke. Should I and the kids go see her or just wait on his call telling us? Should I as the ex go after all he has done to me? I dont want to confront him and his girlfriend I dont want to see these people ever again. What do I do? my kids dont want to go....what if the woman and the nephew die?
View related questions:
christmas, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (30 December 2013):
 I would combine the great advice you received from the others and encourage your children to contact the hospital and send a very simple, but tasteful card. If they won't call the hospital then you do it.
You can't force them to show any interest obviously, but you can make it very clear to them that this is what adults do in polite society and not doing so would be a very poor reflection of them and their upbringing. Keep it brief.
I strongly agree with the advice not to include anything negative about your ex. Don't even mention him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 December 2013):
 I would tell the kids, I would find out what hospital she is in and send some flowers from you and the kids. If you kids want to visit I would take them without a doubt.
This has NOTHING to do with your ex's GF and whatever else drama has happened.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2013): First of big deep breaths, and hey you keep hanging in there !! As a nurse ( albeit mental health) first thing I would do is contact the hospital that your ex mother in law n nephew are staying at .. Make sure that they are both been admitted of course . .. Then when you speak with their names nurse/ duty one . Say that her grandchildren send their love and ask if you may send in a card or flowers ( all hospitals have diffirent policy's ) so get their clearance first .. I would attach to what ever item you do send them a note doesn't have to be long .. Do not how ever place blame on her son for not contacting you ( the women in hospital recouping hopefully from a stroke ) just say something like:Hi, grandma We just found out your not well and in hospital, we would love to visit sometime when your better . Here our number. ( blah blah ) and if you can ring us when your home. In the meanwhile we send our love .Love you grandma And something similar to your nephew no blame game though .. Just nice, that way whatever happens you tried your best .. I think it's terrible when gf come inbetween kids and their extended family not that I have that issue .. But I hear it a lot through my work environment . Take care .. God bless and all the best for 2014 sweetie . :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2013): Follow your own conscience. Why fault other people over the issues and conflicts you have with your ex? Were either of these ailing people any part of your drama?
People fighting for their lives need support and to know that everyone is pulling for their recovery. It's simple compassion.
Your children are grown and make their own decisions. Let them deal with their own consciences for being in-compassionate. Maybe these people mean nothing to them anyway. So why bother being phony? You can't tell other people how to feel.
You can always stop by the nurses station to determine if the patient is already seeing visitors. They usually know who is there seeing them. Wait until they are aren't in the room, and visit on your own. You can also call them at their bedside. Make a quick stop by, and leave.
Stop creating drama where it isn't necessary, and there are obvious ways around the issue.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe woman sorry, my mother in law who I really did have a good relationship, but she hurt me and believed her son, when she knew all along he was a cheater and liar ...I really feel horrible for her, I really did love her as a second mom and the nephew really backstabbed me too all because of the cheating ex
...............................
|
