A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf is a very spiritual dude...da thing is he says he dunno wat is love. Im 19 n so is he... I mean, doesn't it sound like a lame excuse? I've been with him fo more den 2yrs now. Wen v first coupled up he said he loves me but i dunno wat triggered the sudden changes,since last year in july i guess he said he dunno what is love anymor. We use to fight often,maybe dats y, but i stopped arguing with him lately n things haven't reeli changed yet. My bf is a nepalese, im an indian girl...v have the same religion n culture though... My bf also says dat hez parents wants him to marry only a nepalese gal but he said i have a 50% chance to marry him sumday. Da thing is he told me directly dat he WILL listen n Do wat hez mum wants,i mean he would fight back a little fo me but da final decision lays in hez parents hands. He has a brother,hez bro is 32yrs old n is not married yet,but he has a gf fo 14yrs now but hez parents does not allow him to marry her. But shez a christian so i dunno. Im so confused. My bf cheated me once last yr with hez xgf, shez a chinese mix swedish gal who is reeli hot. Dey broke up coz she had to move to new zealand, but she returned fo a month last december n my bf coupled up with her behind my back n dey even kissed,but i gez dat was da worse part. When she left back to new zealand,the next day my bf returned to me n apologized n said he realized hez mistakes,n he wudnt repeat dem but he still kept in touch with her until june diz year,sending her kisses through msges n all behind my back. i threatened to dump him fo real n said i cudnt tolerate hez behaviour but, n he said he will lose any contact he has with her fo me. recently i found a website called sms.ac where he has an account there,he only has two frenz onda website n 1 of it i suspect is her coz its a girl of her age n initials but no photo but i do think it was her. diz account of his has hez email add n password which he alwiz uses,when i confronted him abt it he said maybe she found out hez email n password n she created it fo him n he said he has neva heard abt da website bfo,or he said he could have created it years back even bfo i knew him. his ex gf is currently in australia n she wil return fo vacation in november or december diz year. im very scared n im having nightmares dat she mite return n snatch him frm me again but i reli dun wan leave him n im not sure if i love him anymor coz he flirts alot n cheated me a few times wit hez ex n im juz so scared i have no idea wat 2do...she is way hotter den me n i feel so low abt myself...i cry all da time n have no peace left in my life. i reeli need help. should i stay with him n see wat happens? even if i do wat if he dumps me fo hez parents sumday? or wat if he cheats me again? im so clueless...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): He suddenly doesnt know what love is anymore? sounds like he is checked out of your rship to him.... he doesnt feel in love w/ you anymore... maybe he has feelings for his ex again and is confused about what to do...
dump his ass, hes only gonna cause u pain... u deserve much better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): No offense to your bf, but he sounds like a loser... He wants to have his cake and eat it to. He says there's a 50% of marrying you, but ultimately it's his parents decision?? He has no balls. He's leading you on and he's treating you like crap. If he wants to be with his ex, he should be with her, not lead you on like this.
If I were in your shoes I would tell him that I deserve more than what he is giving me. I would tell him that I have been faithful to him, and that I have been committed to the relationship, and if he cannot do the same, then he is free to leave.
It might be difficult because you feel very strong feelings for him (perhaps love?)... but honestly he sounds like a user and an abuser and from what you have said, there is no reason to believe that he will be faithful to you in the future if he is tempted by another girl.
By the way, I am sure his cheating has NOTHING to do with how attractive you are. From the sounds of it, they broke up out of necessity rather than because they had no feelings for one another. He is clearly still emotionally invested in his relationship with her and would probably still be together if she had not moved.
He has not moved on and it doesn't sound like she has either.
Perhaps he is not the one for you. Save yourself 2 more years of agony. I am 100% sure that there are thousands of (cute, intelligent and decent) men out there who would love to treat you like a queen rather than string you along with BS excuses...
Just my two cents. Good luck and I am sorry that this guy has messed you around this way, you surely don't deserve it.
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