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male
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*dhesivespatula
writes: I'm in a sort of complex situation and I'm hoping to get some outside advice on the situation. Lately, I've started to lose the feelings I've had for my current girlfriend - she's become possesive and needy and is constantly depressed. I've already told her that space "is a good thing at times" but she keeps sending me emails everyday and calling even when I'm at work - we've only been dating for two months. Now here's the kicker - a girl I had a crush on in high-school (and I assume liked me back, yet I had a girlfriend at that time) contacts online, and after brief conversation she gave me her number and we went out to eat. The problem lies with we were really hitting it off - the whole 'she bumps her leg into mine' thing and she even made sure I had her number so we could see a movie soon. I'm not sure whether I should just dump my current for this new girl or perhaps let there be an overlap, a veritable changing of the guards if you will, or just stay the course and see if I can improve things. I'm just so confused by the sudden change of feelings I'm having, its never happened before. Pleas lend some advice!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2006): If you are unhappy with your current relationship, break it off. Are you so afraid of being alone that you would have to "overlap" and be secured with a new girlfriend before breaking up with the current one? Frankly, that's very cowardly. If you are unhappy, put an end to the situation you are in, regardless of whether or not you've got someone else lined up.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (19 April 2006):
 Well it seems to me that your change of feelings is a reaction to your gf,s neediness. It's a natural reaction in some ways and comes down to something like cause=effect. She is pushing for your attention and time and you are finding that too much so you are backing away.
Ultimately you have to decide for yourself what you want to do. It may be possible that your gf and you can work on her behaviour and over time change it but the sort of questions you have to ask yourself are can you cope with this and can you work with her, reassure her in the meantime.
I would strongly advise against 'overlapping' because if your gf finds out you will add to the emotional scarring she has obviously already suffered and you at least owe her the decency of a clean break if you decide you cannot cope with her and want to pursue things with this other girl. Hope that helps.
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