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Should I disobey my parents and date this guy? Also, how do I handle comments from my friends about this guy? Please help!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Family, Forbidden love, Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 March 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 March 2011)
A female Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I really like this guy, but for starters, I am forbidden to date in high school and I have gotten so caught up in what everyone else has said or will say about us dating. I think this relationship could really go places, but I am concerned what people will say and think about it since we look alike (at first look people say we look like brother and sister) and we both have a similar last name.

So what should I do about this relationship? Should I disobey my parents and date? Should I date him and have our relationship potentially torn apart by what others say about us? HELP ASAP!!

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A male reader, sebaslookingforward Argentina +, writes (10 March 2011):

I would like to add a little myself after having read the replies by Odds and the annonymous guy/girl.

Basically, thinking twice about it, you should make this balance in between your parents and this guy. Do not stop any contact with him, be around him a lot but probably it is better not to make it official until your parents approve of it. Mention to your parents that you are 16/17, mayble almost 18 (I dont know your age) and try to convince them.

good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011):

Your parents are merely doing what they feel is in your best interests. Usually it is because of bad experiences in their past that they are afraid you will live through.

But at the same time, you cannot live your entire life in service to others. Not your friends, lovers, or family.

In the end you have to take the lessons they taught you and live your life as best you can, whether they agree with your choices or not.

At this juncture in your life, it is WISE to consider the ramifications on friends and family. But unwise to allow yourself to be a slave to them.

If you do not experience love and relationships, and all their pitfalls and joys, ups and downs, now, you will have no basis for comparison and you will find it much harder to initiate and deal with one later in life when the opportunity arises.

You need this experience to deal with the ones that come later on in life.

Flynn 24

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (9 March 2011):

Odds agony auntYour parents are watching out for your best interests. Considering how much effort they have put into raising you, feeding you, and putting a roof over your head - not to mention putting up with the antics that all children get into - you owe it to them to listen. At the very least, consider why they might have that rule, and whether it's a good thing. Then talk to them about it, calmly and rationally.

I should point out that I disagree with their rule, since I think it's best girls learn about all the jerks out there while they're still close to home, but it's their business and yours, not mine.

Missing out on one high school boyfriend isn't that big a deal.

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A male reader, sebaslookingforward Argentina +, writes (9 March 2011):

Oh girl, you like him! Date him! Ignore your friends, and you will be able to deal with your parents because you are almost 18. They will understand, and if they don't, what can they do to destroy the bond with your boyfriend? Ignore what others say, do yourself a favor and ask him out, kiss him and let him hold you :)

Good luck! Be brave!

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