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female
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anonymous
writes: If you were to get yourself pregnant on purpose without your partner knowing your intentions, and you had their baby and loved it with all your heart because it reminded you of him, is it still a wrong thing to do? Considering that this kid will be absolutely adored, but the father wouldn't want anything to do with it. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): you should NEVER force anyone into becoming a parent. that's horrible! how would you feel if someone duped you into doing something you didn't want to do. only this is *life altering*! please, do not do this to him - you can't be selfish with something like this. and remember, this won't just affect the father, it will affect his FAMILY, as well. don't do it!
A
female
reader, donna83 +, writes (15 August 2006):
dont do it i am 5 1/2 months pregnant (happy mistake) we r both pleased but i have found that its the emotional stuff u will find difficult on your own who will rub your back and give you support when u cry for no reason, although pregnancy is in its own self rewarding you should not denie ur self a loving partner to share the experience with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): NO NO NO!!! A child is FOR LIFE, not just for christmas or whatever. How can you be so selfish as to have a child all by yourself, and denying the child a father. If your'e that desperate..go to a sperm bank, don't use this guy as he will become involved, he has a right to know he could be a potential father.
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (15 August 2006):
 Of course its wrong, how can you even think of such a thing. I agree with all the comments but David Lewis took the words right out of my mouth. Dont be silly my dear, please use wisodm and not emotions and dont act in folly, please. xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): Would you mind if you found out that the partner you love purposely got pregnant and you were forced to spend the rest of your life being a parent?
Possibly not.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (15 August 2006):
 If you want your partner to despise you, resent everything about you and lose any respect he had for you.
Go for it!
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (15 August 2006):
 Look into a sperm bank, if you want to get pregnant that badly. Only if you are in a financial and emotional position to support the child and yourself.
Do Not trick your partner!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): Please tell me you're just fantasizing this - like one of those comical tv shows where the character fantasizes about sending his/her children overseas in a giant parcel box.
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A
female
reader, caraduddy +, writes (15 August 2006):
 Hold up! i think you need to think this through this is not fair on the farther and the baby. Kids grow up wondering where there fathers are every kid would like a mum and a dad to love. Going behind ur partners back is horrible and to trick him! thats bad. If he doesn't want kids and you do have a talk to him and decide on something
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Children need both a loving and caring mother and father in their lives-they want, desire, crave, and need this.
Why bring a child into this world to put them through the pain of not knowing their father; of not having their father in their lives to love and care for them?
Don't be so selfish.
Procreation is a power that needs to be respected and not abused. Yes, to have a child for selfish means is abuse considering that they will automatically be part of a single mother/broken home to begin with-no child wishes for this...none. Children who do not feel loved, who are in a broken home, who are in a home with two uncaring parents secrelty long and wish for the happy family which includes two loving and responsible parents who love one another.
Seek some counseling and discover why you would feel the need to have a baby so that you can feel better about yourself. That would be the best solution for your broken heart and spirit.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): Have you talked to your partner about how you feel about having a baby? If not give it a go. If you have and he's said no then it would be really unfair of you to go ahead and get pregnant, not just on him but on the baby too.
You also need to think of yourself. How are you going to bring up a child, possibly on your own, and possibly with the father of the child resenting you and the child.
A pregnant woman needs support and if you don't have that you're going to find it really hard.
I'd seriously reconsider what you want to do.
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (14 August 2006):
 Sounds to me like you're trying to convince yourself that its ok. Did you by any chance post on this site before about this kind of problem? Cos if you did, I wasn't serious about 'forgetting' birth control!
Anyway, it would be good for the kid to be brought up in a stable home and stuff but I'm sure if you know and understand what you're getting in to as a single parent, then you could do it. Sounds to me like your mind is made up already so what the heck, go for it and give it your all! Good luck!
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