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Should I date my ex's best-friend?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2006) 7 Answers - (Newest, 26 December 2009)
A male , anonymous writes:

Well here's the deal, I'm 16 and I was with my girlfriend for around 8 months. She was from a different school, so along with meeting her and getting together, I made friends with a lot of her friends. The thing is, her best friend (who's also a girl) has really become my best (girl) friend now too. I'd trust her with anything and we can talk about anything and everything together. Me and my girlfriend broke up a little over 4 months ago but the problem is, I'm really into her best friend now.

The problem is, my ex is really into the whole not dating your best friend's ex deal, so I dont really know what to do. After hinting around before, i found out that the girl i like, although she does kind of believe in that if her friend still likes the guy, doesnt really if the best friend and the ex really make each other happy. The thing is, it's really been made clear that me and my ex arent going to be any more than friends for now and she's moved on to liking other guys. I'm really good friends with both these girls, and really want to be with my ex's friend, but i dont want to cause problems between any of us, especially the 2 of them becuase of how close they are. I havent said anything about this to either of them, but its getting kind of hard to keep quiet about. What should i do?

View related questions: best friend, broke up, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009):

well really i think you should do what you feel is best because my best friend did the exact same thing to me but im wasnt really not just mad but surprised ....but i understand because you obviously just got attached to her while talkin to her all the time tryna figure out was your ex problem.....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008):

Im currently going out with my ex's best friend but we haven't told her yet. And I looked up this because I was trying to find out wether to tell her or not

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2008):

Without a doubt do not go through with it. See even though you may like her alot I broke up with my girlfriend a while ago maybe 7 months and now my "supposed" best friend is dating her now. It is a shitty feeling. SO if you want my advice don't do it because it causes alot of annoyance and breaking up of good friends.

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A female reader, dontfixmeimnotbroken United States +, writes (14 August 2008):

i don't think you should go out with your ex's best friend because even if she says she is totally fine with it she really isn't. No girl wants to see her best friend with her ex. Its just heart breaking because well whatever happened to chicks before dicks?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007):

Hey dude.

I had a ex who was my boyfriend and we split up a few months ago. However my best friend Jordan went straight to it and just because my consent let her go out with him doesn't mean that I wasn't annoyed. Usually, when your girlfriend's best friend says yeah go ahead and go out with him she probably means Why would you want to go out with him? I'm jealous of them because they have something that I did have. My personal view is that doing this will make you girlfriend think that you're trying to make her jealous however it might be because she likes you. I would advise you not to but ask them both yourself and make sure no secrets are kept.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006):

I think this is a very very bad idea. The only reason I came across your question is because Im the "ex" thats trying to cope with my best friend and my ex getting together. Its awful and it's hurt so many people. Why risk it. Its a boundry that shouldnt be crossed. Your ex and her best friend will never be the same again.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2006):

Hi there. I posted a subject around 2 or 3 weeks ago about me breaking up with my ex and my best freind going with her. Now you should look at the situation that your ex is in. Does she still love you? Even in the slightest? Is she starting to move on with other boys? If you dont know, talk to her and try and find these things out. Trust me it might be hard for her to see her freind and everytime she see's her, she see's you going out with her.

I am not saying that your descision should depend on your ex, but do you want to run the risk of splitting up freinds? My ex nearly did, and me and my freind have known each other longer than she has been born. If she seems a little down, and you feel that if you make a move on her freind that it will cause problems. Then mabie you should give her a little time to recover, instead of jumping in the deep end straight away.

If it's clear she has moved on, then go for it! Good luck mate.

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