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Should I date a guy who is 9 years younger than me? I'm 28 and he's 19

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 October 2013) 13 Answers - (Newest, 4 November 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Im 28 years old and newly single, i'd rather stay single for a while to be honest but someones interested in me. The problem.is hes only 19 that is way too young for me but my friend doean't think so. I dont feel comfortable about that age gap but I'd like yo know what everybody else thinks! thanks in advance.

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A female reader, Stupid lady Philippines +, writes (4 November 2013):

Age gap was a big deal to me .If only i know how big the gap is? I married 16 a high school grad, my husband was 31 and now we're living for 37 years and the age gap has been seen that every time we go out everyone was asking indirectly is that your husband? So age gap was more important before deciding to marry a person...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2013):

That previous male anon is being far too kind when he describes the reversed situation. We should call it what it is: a huge double standard that society holds against men.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2013):

I say go for it. You are both adults.

What I find most curious is that if your genders were reversed you would be getting some very, very different answers... almost all skewed to the negative and 'You two are at different stages in life so it won't work and any man in his late 20's is only after a teenager cause he can't get a woman his own age'and worse.

Once both parties reach the legal age of consent... have at it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (16 October 2013):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly, if you are NOT wanting to date him, it's OK you CERTAINLY don't have to go out on a "pity-date" or a date because you feel bad for telling him no thanks.

YOUR friends aren't the ones dating him, so it's not their concern.

Go with your gut. If it tells you that 1. he's too young and 2. you rather stay single. Then DO that and tell him no, but thanks for asking and let it go.

At this age 9 years is a HUGE age gap. After 25-30 9 years somehow becomes "smaller" mainly because by then BOTH parties have had SOME life experience.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (16 October 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntmy take: he's legal so it's not an issue there..

I know a man who at 19 met a woman in her early thirties. Now 7 years later married 5 years with a 5 year old daughter they continue blissfully happy.

My husband is 13 years younger than I am. Of course had I met him when he was 19 and I was 32 it never would have worked... we were in different places.

If the ONLY reason you do not wish to date him at all is JUST his age, I say give it a shot since you are actually considering it by asking total strangers.

However, if you are doing it just to appear PC, then just walk away...

BUT, I ask if you will always wonder what would have happen later on....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013):

Although he's technically an adult he may well still be an adolescent in his outlook and you may find yourself having to put up with some rather juvenile behaviour even if he is mature for his age. There's still alot of growing and learning to do between the ages of 18 - 25

Still there's nothing legally or morally wrong with it so go for it if you want to.

I don't think you want to though. You said you'd rather be single for while so do what YOU want.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2013):

Sure why not go out with him for a few dates and see what he is like. Do not pass up the opportunity to possibly start the best relationship in your life. Do not believe that a younger man is childish and immature. Nothing is what it appears to be always. I have met and associated with 18 year old men who should more maturity and compassion that a thirty your old.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (16 October 2013):

Tisha-1 agony auntIf it doesn't feel right to you to date him then why are you allowing someone else to set your boundaries?

Say no, hold firm to your feelings and

let

it

go.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (16 October 2013):

How about instead of letting a random stranger decide for you, you go out with him a few times and see what happens. Everyone is different, and age doesn't give you a foolproof idea of what someone is like.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (16 October 2013):

llifton agony auntI typically say who cares to most age gap relationships but at your age (I am there, myself), I know just what a massive difference there is between who I am now versus who I was at 19. It's incomparable. The maturity levels are extremely different.

You also say you aren't comfortable with it, so why force it? No sense in doing something you don't care to do.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Miss.Cupid United States +, writes (15 October 2013):

Miss.Cupid agony auntTo be honest it isn't too old at all. He is in the legal age. And to be honest now a days a lot of women get involved with younger guys. To be honest as long as he likes all the things that you do and you guys get a long great i dont see why not. Good Luck!.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (15 October 2013):

Starlights agony auntNot young at all! I think if he's mature at 19 and makes you laugh and your open to his "thinking" then go for it.

When i was 29 I had a relationship with a 19 year old and he was the most romantic man I ever met. He was adorable, we only broke up because I chose to move city and not because of anything else.

Keep it light hearted, focused and fun!

Goodluck.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (15 October 2013):

chigirl agony auntNo. Too young. Its not an age gap thing as much, more like you ending up like his mum. I dated a guy who just turned 20 when I was 23, and even that was too childish for me then! Theyre immature at that age, and endlessly hopeless and childish. I say its not worth it. Wait until hes an adult... Right now hes still a teen, and will act like a teen too, causing drama and whatnot.

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