A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone. I have an ex girlfriend from High School that I am still very good friends with. We live 5 blocks away from each other. Speak to each other 3 or 4 times a week. See each other twice a week. But this is only because we are in the same neighborhood. The problem is that my current girlfriend of 4yrs doesn't like it. She gets very angry anytime she even hears the ex's name. She feels we are fooling around behind her back. I have explained to her so many times that I'm not. In fact I don't even find my ex attractive anymore. But we have had so many fights over this. She has even gotten very violent with me several times over this. Should I cut off a 22yr friendship for her? What can I do to stop all this madness?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): It doesn’t matter hopeful who is correct here. She ended it and it’s for the best in my opinion. How could she count on her lover to stand by her in her times of needs? He already prove to her that’s a friend is more important to him than she is. That person that you’re sharing your life with should always have your back. You should be able to turn to them in your time of need, this isn’t the case here. There’s not a friend in the world whom I put before my girl, lover, and soon to be wife before her as this guy did to her. You see your slogan is great and so does he, now all he needs to do is get that friend to bed him when he needs it or get a subscription to playboy and enjoy his life. The next woman will leave too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): it is the new girlfriend who has to go. She has anger management and jealously and over controlling issues, and it will only get worse. This new friend will make your life a misery. Keep your friend of 22 years. She may be like a sister to you now, but she is still a more stable person in your life than your new girlfriend
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female
reader, sammierenee +, writes (7 November 2010):
 no u shouldn't. your girlfriend needs to grow up, trust you, and get over it. she obviouslly is insecure. has this been going on through out the entire relationship?
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female
reader, sammierenee +, writes (7 November 2010):
no u shouldn't. your girlfriend needs to grow up, trust you, and get over it. she obviouslly is insecure.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): Well i hope you are okay. I think the two of you being broken up may be the best thing for you. Being violent is never okay. You deserve someone who trust you. I hope you find that special someone.
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male
reader, soon567 +, writes (7 November 2010):
I am like the rest of them; I think you know the answer too. I think you need to look within yourself and grab a pair…Its obvious after four year this woman means nothing to you or this 22 year old crush would be gone. You run to this woman every single day, geez I have neighbors that basically right outside of my window that I don’t see that much. I wonder does she have kids (here he comes mom, stalking you again). I think your choice has been made and one of you needs to pack and go. 4 years together and what does she has? Nothing; but wasted time with someone that’s wants another.
“Should I cut off a 22yr friendship for her?” No keep her and tell your girlfriend to go find a guy that cares about her and her feeling because you don’t give a …
“What can I do to stop all this madness?” Leave her and the madness will stop.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for responding. I want to answer your questions. Yes my ex girlfriend is in a relationship. No she & I have nothing more going on than a friendship. Also as I said earlier.. I'm not even attracted to her anymore. Her looks have really changed a lot since High School. We have not married after 4yrs because she was not divorced from her husband yet. She is now though. And she left him because he was doing the same things to her that she is now doing to me. I have let them meet each other several times. She will act like she's ok with the ex, but once we are alone she will stat up with me again. I have no problem in making a choice between a female friend & a woman I am involved with, but not woman is enraged that their anger causes her to scream at the top off her lungs, to become so unreasonable that I can't get a word in because she's talking over me & for her to become violent with me alone or in public. Last.. She & I have just broken up. She sent me a goodbye text a little while ago.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): Jeez...i could understand your girlfriend being jealous and insecure if your ex was a more recent ex, but you broke up, i guess, around 20 years ago, something like that ?. Your girlfriend should understand that you are just friends and have been for a very long time. Can i also ask, is your ex married or in a relationship or is she single ?.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Complicated situation.
There are so many sides to this one.
Ok. First I think the amount of time that you have contact with this woman with whom you arnt dating is quite excessive.
2nd, your current girlfriend had to of known that you had this friend, and accepted dating you came along with this knowledge, and she continued the relationship which in my opinion verified her approval of the relationship.
3rd, my fiance had a girl flirting with him ( my view, not my fiances view ). I wasnt happy and said something to him. His answer was to cut off all communication with her. Not what I was looking for but his choice. Why did he make this choice ? Because in his words, he has everything to lose by continuing to talk to her, and nothing to gain by continuing the friendship. So he choose me over her, as it should be.
Your responses here are quite opinionated by different posters. Shes jealous, dump her, give up the friend.
But whatever you chose to do, I think after 4 years with a girlfriend, why isnt she a fiance or a wife yet ? Is there more to the high school girlfriend than youre willing to tell ?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Dude im sure you know what to do. If you love this woman, the girlfriend, then you'll do whatever you can to make her happy.
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female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (6 November 2010):
 Honestly that sounds extremely frequent to see a friend. I would get jealous too. This is a topic I really think depends on a person's point of view. Some believe a friendship with the opposite sex is perfectly fine and normal, others just aren't okay with it. I agree that she is making you choose- her or your friend. So choose. I've gone through this with my boyfriend. He has a friend of 8 years that he used to date but is now just friends. I can't handle it at all. Even though it is 8 years ago it just hurts so badly every time she called or texted. We damn near broke up over it until he decided she wasn't worth losing me. I compromised a little to where he can text or respond back but never hang out. I'm afraid there is no way for you to have both. Your girlfriend won't back down I'm sure. Maybe find someone a bit more confident for you who doesn't care about an ex being a friend you see twice a week. But it will come down to choosing one or the other. Good luck.
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female
reader, anna_1209  +, writes (6 November 2010):
Your girlfriend is obviously quite insecure. If you really care about your girlfriend you need to reassure her that you love her and that there is nothing to worry about your friendship with your ex from high school. Tell her you don't want to choose and its not fair that she should make her. If she continues to be jealous and angry then its up to you to decide whether you're prepared to let a 22 year old friendship go for your girlfriend, but if your ex has been a good friend to you then it would be a shame to losw her over somebody who doesn't trust you
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): It's the new gf you should cut things off with. She is going to make your life hell forever
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (6 November 2010):
 You should already know the answer to that. Why cut off a 22 year friendship with a woman you haven't dated since high school, for a 4 year girlfriend who has trust and possibly anger issues?
With both know that a man and a woman can have a strictly platonic friendship..and you have tried to explain this to your girlfriend who can't seem to grasp this concept. Instead, she starts pointing fingers and accusing you of cheating based off of assumption. Not to mention, you clearly can't have both women in your life she's trying to force you to choose. Sounds pretty controlling to me. So I've got trust, anger, and controlling issues so far..You tell me the answer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Friendship is a very special thing to have. If i was you i wouldn't cut off your friendship with this women. I think your girlfriend should understand. Explain to your current girlfriend that this is just a friendship and nothing more. If she doesn't except your wishes then i would find someone who would.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Pretty simple, dump your girlfriend. If she doesn't trust you now it's only going to get worse and she's violent? Do you really want to be with someone like that?
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