A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About five years ago I met a guy, along with a handful of other people from all over the world, while playing an online game.I've kept in good contact with many of these people throughout the years. This guy in particular has been a great friend, though a long distance one. Unfortunately, he is in the UK while I am in the US.I don't know what happened to spark this, but recently (couple of months about) our friendship took a turn. For the better I suppose. Aside from being "just friends", we now like each other very much. We flirted before but now it has become something. He's really a very charming guy... I never thought I'd fall for someone clear across the other side of the world by only talking online! We talk daily and have talked a bit about actually meeting.I have no clue where this relationship is going. Perhaps it will fizz away into being just friends again, or perhaps something will come of it. However I find myself "investing" a lot of emotion into this guy more and more. The fact that he is in another country is slowly but surely becoming a very real problem. I would love to meet him and get to know him better but we could only meet so often... traveling is VERY expensive and, right now, unlikely for me (he'd have better luck visiting me than the other way around right now) because of my finances.I just... don't know how much I should put into this relationship. I want it to grow and become something amazing and I dream about being in a relationship with him but he is across the globe! I would never hurt him on purpose, but I must also deal with not having any physical interaction for very long stretches of time, and taking (or declining) the chance to date another guy who has shown interest in me. I also just can't pack up and move to a different country or spend months visiting, so REALLY getting to know each other seems very difficult.But... I really like him. He's great. Amazing.Guess I'm just looking for advice, comments, suggestions, similar stories. Thanks...
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female
reader, Just.opinions +, writes (6 August 2013):
I can tell youre dying to go for it. Heres my success story so far. Though ill say it might come off as funny at first.
I admit it..., i met my boyfriend on (drumroll) ...world of warcraft -.-
...laugh it up. But it worked.
We lived on opposite ends of the US and were friends for 4 years before he was fished out of the friendzone. For almost all of the 4 years, we had contact every day. First on the game. Then through emails, then IMs. Finally, when it became a relationship, we skyped for roughly 5 hours every night. Couldnt get enough of eachother :) This went on for nearly a year. He visited me one time for a week, and it went well. He then moved here, and we have continued to date. He was my first boyfriend. I his first girlfriend. And it was completely refreshing to know he fell in love with me before even seeing my body. It takes a special dose of determination. Long distance can be a heartache. But if youre in it for a long term relationship (i mean really long. Dont go uprooting your life for a fling) absolutely 100% go for it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2013): Glad to know I'm not alone. Thank you and good luck to you CindyLou.
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A
female
reader, CindyLou +, writes (14 July 2013):
Oh, my gosh! I am going through the EXACT same thing! I'm in the US, he's in the UK, and I'm in agony. We met playing on online game too. Our stories are almost identical. I really don't have any advice, but I just want to let you know that you aren't alone. Good Luck. *hugs*
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2013): OP here, thanks for your advice guys. I know this is going to be difficult, if not impossible.
Lol Tisha you make me sound like a lazy bum with no life! I don't even plan the game anymore, we talk through phone and Skype mostly. And I get plenty of physical exercise and outdoors time... After all I am in the military and horseback ride.
It's not a lack of interaction I am missing. I just like THIS guy.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 July 2013):
 Hi, I think So Very Confused has given you some really good advice.
Here's mine: if you are living in the future, as in, "when I meet Paul and we finally learn if we are good together or not," then you are spending your mental energy on a fantasy.
It's easy and comfortable to live in that fantasy because there are no risks. He can't leave you because he's not really with you and he can't reject you for what you look like because he's never going to meet you.
The more time you spend online in this fantasy, the less time you spend in the real world.
And unless you are accessing this virtual world while on a treadmill or a stationary cycle, you are sitting on your arse playing a game. Your body's muscles are shrinking and weakening and your bones are thinning and yadda yadda yadda you've probably stopped reading.
If you want to play games and meet people, get out of the house and be outside. There are so many ways to interact with real people in real life in the real world.
Get there.
If Paul wants things to happen with you, and he's financially able to travel, then let him work on it.
Chances are that Paul is a perfectly lovely human being with lots of potential and he'll do wonderfully in life…. and so will you.
Amazing right now in your fantasy.
How about experiencing amazing in real life? Isn't that a better idea?
Get off the game for now and into real life. You will wonder why you ever doubted yourself!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 July 2013):
 if you can't spend serious time together in person the relationship cannot grow and become something amazing.
Relationships are hard
Long distance relationships are harder
VERY long distance relationships nearly impossible even with folks having known each other before the separation, and the money to see each other REGULARLY (every other month or so)
You have not met face to face
you do not have the finances to make regular visits a possibility....
I can easily say give it a try but knowing what I know of LDRS, I can say this one is not looking like it will turn out well...
LDRs need a few things:
same as regular relationships
time
effort
communication
trust
in addition LDRs need
money (for travel and in your case visas etc)
travel plans
and finally A PLAN to end the distance.
so before you even start this... will you move or will he?
if neither of you is willing to move, then it's a moot point all together... ONE OF YOU HAS TO MOVE within two years or it's useless to do this.
MY LDR stories:
My husband and I met gaming face to face. We lived 2 hours by car apart. We met originally August 2009, then we met again November 2009, then August 2010... where I got his attention.. in November 2010 I literally hit him to get his attention... December 2010 our first visit... January one visit, February two visits one more than one night... by March we were every other weekend... by April 2011 every weekend and by the end of April I was going up on Friday and staying till Monday and driving 3 hours to go to work on Mondays.... By December 2011 he gave up his apartment and his entire life and moved to be with me.
OUR close friends met (also gaming) and he lives where my husband used to live and she lives here... dated two years... 3 weekends together 1 weekend apart.... They will be married a year in september and they are still doing this schedule because he is close to retirement and until he retires he has to live in the city he works in (a requirement of his job) and she did not want him to retire early. I don't know how they cope... I could not bear to be apart from my hubby that much...
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