A
female
age
30-35,
*hutup_n_eatme
writes:So this guy I've been friends with since about last November/December, but only basically online friends. We met on Twitter and just talked online as friends, he had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend. But he expressed interest in me, saying he wanted to meet me but I kind of turned him down because he's a few months younger than me (petty, I know). We were really good friends, we gave each other advice about our relationships and it was cool. And ever since then, I felt chemistry between us but at the time, chose not to go any further because of the situations we were in. Then, this summer, he tried again to talk to me, at this time, we were both single. We had both broken up with our ex's around the same time. And so this time I gave him a chance. So since July, we've been talking as more than friends and we have a really good connection, still. I completely stopped talking to my ex boyfriend because my feelings for him are too deep to just have a friendship with him. However, the dude, he still talks to his ex and they're friends. She's away at college, just like me, but she came home last week and went to visit him. He talks about her to me, and seems like he still really cares for her, in which I KNOW he does, because he said he still wants to be with her, but he knows he wont be happy, so hes not going to sit around and wait. I just feel like a rebound chick, and I brought this up to him, but he tried to tell me I'm not. I actually am starting to really like him and we both talked about getting together in the future. But with him still friends with his ex, that he's also in love with, I don't know if I want to go ahead and keep talking to him. I feel like, in the end, I'm going to get hurt, and it's going to be MY fault. Should I still talk to him, or should I find somebody new?
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ex girlfriend, his ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, shutup_n_eatme +, writes (9 October 2011):
shutup_n_eatme is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yeah your right. Thanks so much for your advice! :)
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 October 2011):
 You are right at the end of the day you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who still has feelings for his ex and it is stressing you out and causing you to be insecure and having trust issues. You are right there are plenty of other guys out there who are single and will be willing to pay you all the attention that you deserve. Good luck and all the best.
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A
female
reader, shutup_n_eatme +, writes (8 October 2011):
shutup_n_eatme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think things were just "complicated" with him and his ex, this is what he says. And I've told him, that even if they don't plan on getting back together now, what's going to happen in the future if they decide they want to get back together? I'm not sure if he understood where I was getting at, asking that question, but I was basically inferring, that if that happened, what's going to happen to me? When I talk about this with him, it seems like he tries to reassure me that I have nothing to worry about, but I dont believe it. It may be just me having trust issues, and being insecure, I don't know. But now that I'm talking about it, I'm kind of making up my own mind, and deciding to stop now, before I end up hurt. There's a lot of other guys out there, so I'm sure I'll find somebody without the baggage.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 October 2011):
I apologise I picked you up completely wrong therefore I am sorry. Well I guess that changes things slightly. I guess it is a good thing that he is being honest with you about how he feels, but off course it is going to make you feel like you are the rebound girl while he gets over his ex. I guess again you need to tell him how you are feeling and ask him is he completely sure he is ready to be with you. What happened between him and his ex? Could it be possible that they would get back together? You need to talk to him about these issues and ask him to be honest with you. Tell him you are scared of getting hurt, if he is serious about you then he should have no problem reassuring you.
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A
female
reader, shutup_n_eatme +, writes (7 October 2011):
shutup_n_eatme is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoo noo i meant to write that. We've met in person. We've chilled plenty of times between july and now, and when we chill, I enjoy being with him. He makes me smile and I feel relaxed being around him. He actually cooked for me the first time we met. It was nice. But still, what I THINK he could feel for me, could be completely different. I just dont know if I shuld even waste time on him.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 October 2011):
I think the healthy thing is to find someone new. You say you are falling for him, but have you even met him in person? It is impossible to feel chemistry between two people if you have never even been in the same room as each other. I think it would be healthy for you now to stop this on line friendship with this guy. He still loves his ex and he is not going to fall in love with some girl on a computer. You may feel like you have strong feelings for him but it is only a fantasy of what you think he would be like. You can pretend to be anyone over a computer. Just remember that. Try and get out and socialise and meet people that way.
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