A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi cupids, my ex boyfriend is so engrossed with my life. I have told him every single thing about me. He knows my family history. I have given him so much information about me that he can use to destroy me. It doesn't really bother me I did all that(it's genetic) because that's how my family doesn't shutup about family secrets. I'd say it's something I picked up in the womb.My ex and I fell out before my birthday in July but we seemed to still be dating(i was just using him) but he's so in love he thought I was joking. It became apparently clear to him when I hooked up with a guy I met and 4 days later gave oral sex. Of course, I told my ex which I shouldn't have. I and my ex are so close. He knows so much about me, I feel so comfortable with him and won't stop talking to him probably till I start dating again but I can't be with him because I will never ever love him. I just can't. He expressed his displeasure about me being sexual with a guy I met 4 days later several times. Recently he started again months after that issue. Of course I owe him no explanation why I did that but since I enjoy his comfort, he won't let me be because of this issue. He seems hurt and sees me differently because of this single act. I told him but we weren't dating. He even says I broke up because I wanted to do this so he won't have any right to say I cheated(a lie as this happened a month after the breakup). True I broke up because I wanted to explore, know a better side to life. And he's the stay at home permanently kind of dude at just 23 years of age. It's sickening. I want to have fun too. Recently, we have stopped talking which I instigated since he won't stop talking about what I did like I cheated. He feels I cheated because I acted like we were still dating. I have to talk to him because right now he's my best listening ear and helps me a lot. Not to sound like a user but it's what it is. Should I contact him? Or wait for him to.
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female
reader, Queenie2015  +, writes (23 September 2015):
 HelloI think you need to let this poor man go. I don't think he will be able to just be friends with you - especially since he feels like you cheated on him and used him. If you had been open with him from the beginning, then maybe things would have been different. However they are not and you can't change the past. Let this guy go and get over his love for you - hanging around him and telling him you need him will only make him think that you like him too. He's confused by your actions and upset by them too.He will probably never stop asking why you 'cheated' on him because you acted as if you were still in a relationship - try and see it from his side, you made him believe (from your actions I presume) that you were still in a relationship and then went and gave another guy oral sex. The best for both of you would be to let him go and stop talking to him. He's only going to get hurt every time you feel like hooking up with guys, because he loves you.
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