A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 2 months has suddenly gone odd. We had pet names for each other on social media. He not really spoken to me much in the last few days. Today he cleared the nicknames we had for each other and he wont reply to any message i sent him previously. I know hes not had a good couple of days and hes not been well. I got some bad news for family health and told him this but hes not replied. im really wanting to message him but im afraid this this push him further away. im thinking he just needs time out but i want to know whats happening with us what should i do ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 January 2019):
 So now YOU have to consider is a partner with these serious health issues something you want long term?
And is he even capable of having a healthy long term relationship?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2019): i am the op. i let him have space and he messaged me within 12 hrs he explained what had got him how he was ( serious health issue thats not short term ) were slowly getting back on track. He is not an 'online boyfriend ' theyre not relationships. WE have met lots of times in person had dates, been at each others homes . he isnt married.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2019): Well, it could be a few things. You might be smothering each other in goo, and being too cutsie. Being constantly lovey-dovey gets so syrupy sweet it might make you diabetic. Don't place a lot of stock on pet-names, my dear!
If this was all done over social-media; and you've never met in-person. The online-romance is kaput! Maybe he's married!
He could have taken a break to come-up for air; or this is as far as it goes. You're mature-individuals, and a little beyond the puppy-love texting-stage. If he's completely missing in action; it may be an indication this romance has run its course.
It doesn't sound good to suddenly go absent, without a word. Even if he was busy or working; a quick message to say so is in order. An abrupt sudden-silence, or dead-air, means he might be faking-it. Just playing along with it; until the novelty wore-off.
I think he has hit the breaks; and decided this is it. I would put my feelings on-hold, pump the breaks, and hit reverse. Clear your head and come-down to reality.
I would go silent to see what happens in maybe another couple of days. If no response. I'd block his number, delete him from your contacts, ignore his contact-attempts, and decide for myself it's over. This is no way to treat you. If he wanted to end it; man-up and tell you to your face.
I think it would be desperate and beneath your dignity; to accept a lame excuse, after a dead-silence.
If no response in 2-3 more days; I'd say that's more than enough time to determine he's all done.
If you've never met, and you've been pressuring him to meet you; there you have it. It doesn't go beyond an online-romance; and maybe he has more than one of them going on. He may have something to hide.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2019): Seems to me like he has thrown the towel in the question is why? What reason did he go 'cold' there HAS to be a reason...
I would suggest you leave him, you have messaged him, the ball is in his court but if it is like this after two months it doesn't bode well, for some people it ends about this time of dating because they know it is not going to go anywhere, maybe he has worked that out early on, it happens, better if that is the case rather than later down the line when you have invested more into him..
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (17 January 2019):
 Give him a week, no contact. If he doesn't get back to you by then "Bye, Bob!".... He's only been your "boyfriend" for two months - that's barely any time at all, so this shouldn't be happening.
That said, I think there may have been some smothering going on - pet names on social media after such a short time? Yeah, that would scare a lot of people off. Slow it down, next time.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 January 2019):
You have to decide if this is going to work for you or not. Him giving you the "silent treatment" because he has had some bad days is not really conducive for a healthy relationship and this is ONLY 2 months in!
I think you need to set yourself a time limit for HOW much "space/time" you wish to give him. After that... if he doesn't start explaining and talking to you, cut him lose and move on.
I get that some people need a bit of "radio silence" and space when shit hits the fan, but isolating yourself rarely does anything good.
Having pet names on social media is all good and well, but it REALLY doesn't mean that you two had something so VERY deep. And it's ONLY been 2 months.
If I were you I'd leave him be for a week. If he doesn't call and explains WTF is up, then I would (after a week) block his number, remove and block him on social media and move on. You don't NEED to explain WHY you are doing it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2019): Give him space. I know its going to be hard and frustrating but trust me it will work. This happened to me and i learnt giving my boyfriend space made him contact me without me doing anything.
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