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Should I confront him or take his sudden change in behaviour as a sign he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 March 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2011)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Sorry about the length, just want to give a bit of a background. So I met a guy at my friend's house a few months ago. We only ever saw each other at group outings and eventually started to talk outside of these group events. I wouldn't say they were full-fledged conversations - we would basically text each other throughout the day. For about 2 weeks we texted every single day.

About halfway through the 3rd week we met up for lunch. Out of nowhere he told me he had feelings for me and wanted to know how I felt. Up until then I never considered him romantically because:

1. We're barely friends - we only met 3 months prior and we've only ever spent time together in group settings. I didn't know him well enough to want to start anything.

2. He broke up with his gf of 2 years right before we met, so anything other than a platonic relationship with him never crossed my mind.

Once he confessed, I realized I was indeed interested in him and I could see us becoming more than friends somewhere down the road. But this just wasn't the right time .. he wanted to be dating before we even went on "a date". Neither of us were ready - I felt he was too eager to date again following his break up and I didn't know whether I wanted the "dating" label just yet. He agreed that 3 months is kind of sudden to develop feelings for someone you hardly spend time with but it happened. I told him I wasn't prepared to take the leap from being "sort of friends" to being "in a relationship" right this second, but if we continue building our relationship we can easily become more than friends. At the same time, I made sure he knew I wasn't asking him to wait until I was ready to date. He told me I wasn't worth the wait and that we should just be friends.

The next few days I left him alone. I assumed he wouldn't be too keen to talk to me right away so I left it up to him to initiate conversation again. Only problem is he hasn't done so, and the only time we've seen each other since then, he talked to everyone but me as if he was making an effort to avoid me.

What gives?? Should I confront him or take it as a sign he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore?

View related questions: broke up, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011):

Responding as original poster - thanks for your reply! Thing is, we share a lot of close friends so I think he's gonna be in my life regardless. Right before our last encounter he told a friend that things between us wouldn't be awkward cause what happened wasn't a big deal. So why is he acting like I don't exist, knowing full well we'll be seeing a lot of each other for as long as we share friends?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011):

I think its just like you stated: this was a rebound and he didn't try to convince you otherwise, not even to get in your pants. Walk away and be glad you dodged that bullet.

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