A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive been going out with my bf for about 7 months now and i thought things were going really well. Ive met his family, hes met mine and we all get on really well etc. The only thing is we haven't had sex yet. we tried once but i was nervous as it was my first time and after fumbling around for a litle while we gave up and haven't tried since then...I know i shouldn't have but i learnt the password to his facebook account and got curious so i took a look. I know its a violation of his privacy and everything and he doesnt know i know about it. when i was on there i noticed hes been writing messages to his ex who he broke up with shortly before going out with me. the messages generally say he still wants her but he cudnt do that to me, he cant stop thinking about her, he'll hopefully see her around town for a dance etc and by the sounds of it she wants him too.i dont know what to do...i thought i loved him and i know i cant confront him about it or hell know ive been on his account...were supposed to be going to see my family and his family at the weekend (which is going to cost a lot on the train) but i don't know whether to tell him id rather just go see my family by myself......part of me thinks he still wants his ex because we haven't had sex yet...could this be the case? should i confront him or just leave it and hope it all works out? :( Thank you...---------[Mod note: Thank you for sending your question to Dear Cupid. In the future, could you make it easier fr the moderators and the readers by using sentences and breaking down into paragraph - thus making it more "reader friendly"]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): I think that you shouldn't tell him about your facebook encounter. But you should ask him if he still has feelings for his ex or anyone else. Make him feel comfortable to tell you that weather it is happening rightnow or if it ever happens while you are in a relationship with him together. Let him know that you rather him tell you and break up that him to end up cheating and hurt your feelings. Also, I don't know how you feel about your virginity. In my case I would want to lose it to someone that I love and I know loves me with the same intensity to make it a very special/ magical moment. That way even though you don't end up marrying that person or you do you will always remember it in a special way and they will too.
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (7 April 2009):
 hun!he doesn't want his ex because you guys have not slept together he probably just remenissing and as you said he even said to her tht he couldn't do that to you.if you don't want him to know you went on his account fine but perhaps you could just bring it up and ask him about his ex and whether he still has feelings for don't need to mention facebook but just say as you understand he will probably still feel for his ex.just gradually bring it up in a conversation and if you want to go to your family by yourself just tell him that.try and talk to him about it.Hope this helps hun,let me know if you need anymore help.
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