A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hiya everyone i was going through my friends list on facebook this afternoon just deleting contacts i dont speak to i noticed my boyfriend has added a woman who is very attractive and the type he told me he goes for i have looked on her profile and he is the only friend on her list should i confront him as i find it very suspicious
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female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986  +, writes (3 December 2016):
That should be your decision to confront him but don't do it if he isn't doing anything wrong with this girl that he is friends with on Facebook. My bf has friends that are girls on his Google plus account and I am fine with it since I have male friends on mine also. It doesn't mean both me and him are cheating on eachother with our male and female friends. Does your bf act strange when he talks to this girl on Facebook on his phone or computer when he signs on to his account? Where does she live at? If she lives in another state,city or country then you don't have anything to worry about since nothing won't happen between them both at all. But don't jump to conclusion if he isn't flirting with this girl at all. He may think she is his type of girl but he is probably only teasing you about that. How many years have you and your bf been together?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2016): Just know that some people's friends lists are private: only friends can see their list. The public only sees mutual friends. Your BF is the only mutual friend. It all depends on their privacy settings. So, don't jump to conclusions just yet. But yes, ask him about her. And keep your eyes open.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2016): P.S.
He may be the first person friended on a new account, or one she just re-opened. Facebook is where we look-up long-lost friends, distant-relatives, missing colleagues, and out-of-touch classmates. Is it possible she falls under any of these categories? Perhaps you might ask who she is before assuming the worst. I think that's how you'd want him to approach you, if the situation was reversed. Suspicious and insecure people are the last people you should trust!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2016): Go ahead! Confront him. What is your objective? Should he only friend ugly women? He may be her only friend on FB; but I assure you, she may have plenty of friends in the real world. Sometimes it's quality, not quantity.
Unfriending her on FB just means you'll no longer see her image. It doesn't mean anything else.
So, do you have reason not to trust your boyfriend? Gosh, I have dozens of attractive men as friends on Facebook. I hope my boyfriend isn't upset about that? He has many more than I, but he's always with me. I guess we have to trust each other.
Now there's a new concept!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2016): Don't confront him. It will only make him start hiding stuff from you. Is there a reason aside from this that has made you distrust him? I have to ask because to me it seems far fetched that this alone is what makes you doubt him.
Bottom line is don't take Facebook too seriously. I'm married and have been for seven years. I have "attractive" men on my friend list that I either worked with at some point, or just knew them before I was married. I'm not about to cheat on my husband with any of them, the idea disgusts me in fact. I can't speak for your boyfriend obviously, but at face value there seems to be no reason for concern.
If you must bring it up, make it seem like just a polite curiosity. Don't use an accusing tone.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (2 December 2016):
 OP, be honest with yourself: you can't see his friends by going through yours. You snooped on his list or she came up as a suggested friend and clicked when you realised he was your mutual contact.
Why don't you trust him? Lots of people set their profiles to private, so you can only see friends you have in common, unless you're friends with them too.
Don't let childish Facebook drama ruin your relationship. Ask, don't confront.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 December 2016):
 Really?
It's your job to monitor whom your BF can be "friends" with on Facebook? Are you serious?
So what if she is his "type" - HE might not be HER type. She might be an old friend or just someone he follows for whatever reason.
Instead of "confronting" him... Why not ask who she is?
If it's a habit of his to follow women for NO GOOD reason, then again that is NOT for you to control, but you CAN tell him that you don't appreciate it. And that YOU wouldn't just go follow random dudes either.
HAVE a GROWN UP talk about instead of trying to "make" him do what YOU want. Because that is how things get sorted out.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 December 2016):
 I doubt that he is her only friend, it is possible that you only see him as she has her profile set to private. If you where going through your own friends list then why would his friends show? Or was it that you where checking up his friend list?
If it was me I wouldn't be checking on my partner or questioning his friends on facebook because well I trust him. It sounds like you have trust issues with him, is there a reason for this?
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