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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have known my husband for 10 years. We have been married for 3 years and we first started dating 5 years ago. He hated the thought of anal. But i always said i wondered what it felt like. And when i asked him if he ever had anal sex with his exes, he said no.Tonight while we were having sex, he decided to try anal. I was so shocked and curious at the same time. At first it was so painful but he went in easier than i expected, to the point where he asked which hole is he in and i felt really embarrassed because i thought he should have had a tighter grip. But aside from my feelings about my body, i am wondering why the new interest in trying. He is 43years old and stated he never did it and he will never do it. He was a little tipsy tonight but I am wondering if he cheated and he tried it, thus the sudden interest. We were in a sexual relationship before we got into a committed relationship but he ended up having sex with someone else while we were in a sexual relationship and i did feel hurt and betrayed. And after this anal incident it just had me wondering if it is a possibility that he cheated. I mean, it is a red flag when someone wants to try new positions out of no where. Should i confront him about how i feel?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2020): So you're saying you were FWB for 5 years but in that time he had sex with just one other. And you think his new found adventure is a sign of him cheating. We'll it's not. Usually FWB part ways at some point, you don't want your friend sleeping around a lot. But just one other should be expected.
She's in his rear-view mirror. Enjoy the new position, but if he goes after your ears -- put a spy app on his phone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2020): I may be misreading you, but it seems to me that anal has little to do with your issues. You are still mad at / hurt by your husband and don't trust him.
If you truly are wondering why he tried anal, apart from your mentioning it, maybe a friend of his told him how great it is, or he saw some good anal porn?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2020): I think it's probably a sign that he's watching porn. but other than that the MASSIVE red flag is that he didn't ask. He just did it. That should never ever ever happen.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2020): Wait a minute...who brought-up the subject of anal-sex first?
"But i always said i wondered what it felt like. And when i asked him if he ever had anal sex with his exes, he said no"
Before rushing to all sorts of conclusions; consider the possibility that he was accommodating what he assumed was a hint or subtle-suggestion. By obliging to something you've intimated to him that you were always curious about; I don't understand your skewed and outrageous logic! The only response he could make in his own defense is: "I thought you wanted it!"
Before accusing your husband and ruining your marriage; how about drawing conclusions on more irrefutable and solidly incriminating-evidence. If you kill a rat, does that make you abusive to animals? Should you be charged with cruelty to animals? It's the same kind of logic.
Well, now you know how it feels!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 January 2020):
 I think your husband felt he was doing it FOR you. If you have shown interest in it previously (and you say you have) then maybe that is why he figured why not?
I might never have been "his thing" and while he claimed " He hated the thought of anal." he wither was more curious then he let on or really wanted YOU to experience it.
I don't see why randomly trying something new in bed without a long talk BEFORE hand equals HE MUST have cheated!
However, HE is your husband. You SHOULD feel comfortable TALKING to him about this. Maybe ask him why he decided to try it after all? Then you can add how it felt for you. If you can HAVE sex with him you can TALK about sex with him. IMHO. You are BOTH adults here.
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