A
male
age
22-25,
*acobThomas
writes:i am 13 and I have been masturbating since I was 11 and my brother did masturbate and got caught and now he is not allowed any electronics so what should I do..... Should I tell them or what? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (5 February 2016):
Oh my god. Let's punish our children for completely normal human development.
No, don't tell them. Your body, your business.
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (5 February 2016):
Oh my god. Let's punish our children for completely normal human development.
No, don't tell them. Your body, your business.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (5 February 2016):
There is nothing wrong with masturbation. Masturbating is a normal thing to do and the overwhelming majority of people do it. Like Ciar, I think that if your brother was masturbating privately and discretely, your parents were harsh to punish him. Perhaps they overreacted because they didn’t want to see it, or perhaps they believe masturbation to be wrong. If they do believe that, I profoundly disagree with them. You aren’t doing anything wrong, so you don’t have to confess anything. What is it that you are worried about? So long as you do it in private, and it doesn’t interfere with the rest of your life, you don’t have a problem and there is no cause for concern.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 February 2016):
 I agree with Ciar.
Though, my guess is he was caught with porn? And that is why he lost his tech?
So do yourself a BIG favor, (and not just to please your parents) but don't use porn. Porn is not real, and it's not reality.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/
Is very interesting reading.
If he was filming himself that is bad too, because if that is uploaded or seen by others it can lead to legal trouble.
But masturbation is pretty natural and not at all uncommon.
If your parents believe it's a sin and that is how you are raised, I suggest you talk to your youth counselor at Church or your pastor.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2016): I don't think it's appropriate for your parents to be that closely involved in your private affairs. No harm in masturbating. It's normal, everybody does it. You shouldn't be punished or scrutinized for it.
You mentioned electronics. Was your brother viewing porn? Most likely your folks don't care that you and your brother masturbate but they may take issue with pornography. And that's why they came down on him so hard. Can't say I disagree with them entirely...
I can understand the appeal of watching porn, it's arousing and exciting. Just don't let it become too habitual. Was your brother just sitting around all day watching porn? Pornography can be gross and graphic. Your parents want to see you exposed to more wholesome stuff. It's important to get out into the world, ride your bike, get into adventures with your friends, play sports, read books, talk to girls.
Ideally they would like you to learn about sex in a more wholesome way, like with a nice girl from school and not some dirty whore in a video performing lewd sex acts for money. When I was your age and all through high school we didn't have Internet. If someone our age sat at home alone all the time looking at smut magazines and touching themselves, you'd be considered an oddball or a weirdo. It's just not normal. Me and my friends were always out and about doing stuff and socializing and getting into adventures and hanging out with real people. From the crack of dawn until bedtime. Beach, surfing, camping, hanging, parties, you name it. We learned about sex through experience not from porno. Masturbation was something you would do if you were extremely bored. I find it sad that it's become a very "normal" thing in your generation. It's not normal.
You don't have to tell them anything. If you masturbate that is your business. My advice to you is just stay busy with other stuff and try not to watch porn habitually. Maybe only occasionally. Try to find arousal in other ways. Use your imagination or talk to girls. And keep yourself busy and distracted with more productive things than watching porn.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (5 February 2016):
 Let me clarify. If your brother was caught masturbating on webcam, filming himself or doing it in front of someone, then yes, I think they should have taken action (the prohibition of electronics makes me question).
If he was simply masturbating privately in his own room, his own bed or the washroom, for example, didn't make any mess and didn't involve anyone else and he's not doing it excessively to the point that it's interfering with his real life, then I think your parents were harsh in punishing him. IF THIS IS THE CASE, then I would not volunteer incriminating information about myself as I do not trust them to handle unpleasant news reasonably. This isn't something you need their help for, so there is no point in involving them.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (5 February 2016):
I don't think you should tell them. I don't see why they need to know if/when and how often you touch your own body, nor do I think your brother should have been punished.
You've got plenty of opportunities to get into trouble in the future, why invite punishment?
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