A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm gay and started university in October last year.The plan was to join the LGBT society, even though I was not out to anyone. I've now told some people who I live with that I'm gay,and, somehow, there's a rumour going round the rest that I am.One question I want to ask is do you think it's alright to come out to my parents by letter?, because I'm afraid that I'll never have the guts to tell my mother face to face. I could tell me father, when I'm next at home, but I can't get round the idea of the awkwardness of the situation and how I would tell him.Either way I need to be open about my sexaulity, and I don't mind people knowing. I've turned 20 and I feel it's time.Secondly, how can I get the courage to go to an LGBT meeting and join the group? I've been putting it off for months but really need to meet some people like me and go out into the gay community or whatever.I'd really appreciate some advice.xxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (13 February 2011):
 I'm a huge fan of letters. When it's a difficult thing to discuss, when it's important to get your words exactly right, to convey exactly what you want to convey, a letter simply can't be beat. You can draft it, you can revise it a hundred times, and wait until you've slept on it. Put it away for a week and see if it still says what you need it to say. If one of my kids were in your position I think that letter would be an excellent way to open the door to discussion.
Keep in mind, though, that your parents know you and that what you have to say may not be the complete surprise that you're afraid of. Regardless, sending the letter can set the stage for a more constructive conversation with them face-to-face.
Good luck!
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