A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am 20 yrs old and I need help for relationship. I've never been into a relationship and now facing a problem... I'm confused about my feelings over this girl who is actually my classmate for nearly 3 years, recently. We're just purely normal friends all along. Until recently a few week ago, we started texting each other quite frequently due to schoolwork, then progressively into random conversation topics. We ended up chatting a lot more than usual and hang out a lot more in school. We poke each other, share food, calling each other nicknames and laugh over small jokes. I feel very comfortable around her, and I could really be "myself" around her. My instinct tells me that she is treating me as just a good friend now... I really don't know what's her real feelings for me. I'm very curious to know the truth!On the other hand, I have this bunch of friends which happens to be my classmate too, who doesn't seems to like the idea of classmate dating classmate. I feel awkward and unsettling over time because they are my bros. My bros also know her quite well (classmates) and another sad truth is another guy I know liked her as well, but have never make any move. I still got another 7 months before graduation and going national service for 2 years. I am thinking of maintaining a close friendship with her now. Then once I graduate, I will ask her out and confess officially... However, what I want now is to ask her out for movie/dinner and spend quality time together. I have been lonely for the past 20 years. :XI really don't know what should I do?? Should I care for bros or ask for a relationship without hesitation?? Thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013): First off, don't go planning the future when you don't even know what you're going to do in the present.
You're planning what you'll do after graduation; and you don't know the depth of your connection with her right now.
For all you know, she is only a classmate; and that may be as far as it will ever go.
Don't count on the three-year period as a class-mate, as time-served; if you're thinking girl-friend material, or dating. She is single and her plans are in her head, until you inquire on what she's thinking.
Are you scared of rejection? Grow a pair!
Ask the girl if she is interested in dating. If she has any interest beyond just being friends. Strike now, or just put yourself in the friend-zone and let the other guy make the first move.
The other guy will get the advantage, if you drag your feet. Then you'll pout and get distant. Hiding your true feelings.
If you like the girl, find out how she feels about you. Then you can plan the future based on the facts, not speculation. Friends now and forever, or maybe she likes you; but doesn't plan to put herself on hold at your convenience.
She's single and available, and has her own plans, my friend.
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