A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was talking to this guy for a while like for 6 months.I started to have feelings towards him.Then he started talking to my friends which got me mad.He also started to give me mixed signals which even got me more mad.He would call me at 2:30 am just to say goodnight. Then the next day he wouldnt call me.About a week ago I erased him off my myspace and I also changed my cell phone number so that way he would never contact me because I thought that it would be best just to forget about him. But lately I've been thinking that I made a mistake.Every little thing reminds me of him, his name is eveywhere. I even dream about him every night.I think about it for a while and I think that he really did care about me.I dont know what to do.Should I contact him?or should I just forget about him? His birthday is coming up and I was thinking about calling him or messaging him to show him that I care about him.I really dont know what to do.Please give me your advice. Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): Should I call him?
We've known each other for years. Hadnt seen him in years. He's been through a lot in life. Drug addictions, crazy women, absent father. He has had over 3 kids only two are alive, the rest died almost immediately after birth. Sad I know. Many different women (Most likely because his mom has many different men) You may be asking why even bother? Well like I said We've known each other for over a decade. We were never intimate until recently. We spoke about love and marriage, and kids and careers and change and jealousy and dependency and all that stuff that should be discussed before a relationship can be built. He was never really the type to express his feelings but he did with me and I believed most of what he said. I was skeptical about the whole being faithful thing since his dating record is extensive...but I also know that a man that wants to settle dont wont do it until hes ready...which according to him he is. anyways bottom line is should I call him? Should I pursue something with him? Factors to consider on my behalf is that this was a life long dream...but could it be that it was only an illusion? He kind of makes me feel complete. I mean I dont need him to feel complete but I feel good by his side. Comfortable, at ease, loved. Could he change for the better? He's not even 25 yet. He had a good upbringing with strong morals so I know he knows the difference b.w right and wrong, the key is to get him act on the good and get rid of the bad. How? I feel like I want to save him from something. --- CONFUSED.
A
female
reader, silent_whispers  +, writes (29 May 2007):
Hi, i think you did the right thing, but thats my opinion. You need to understand that sometimes, we have to give up something we probably enjoy but we dont realise that its damaging us. The simple example is sugar, its sweet, but it does damage our teeth and our body if taken in excess. Many men these days, play hard to get, others just dont like commitment because they are scared of it. If he was giving you mixed messages, then there is no point in chasing of him. JuST THINK of it this way-if he did feel the same way for you, he would have contacted you, wouldn't he? women are much softer and caring and we feel guilty really easily, and a lot of the time, we chase after people only to find we get hurt in the process. You need to be stronger, in a relationship only make 50% of the effort and leave the rest to your partner, so they can show you that they truly care. A guy who talks to your friends and you, shows that he simply just likes the attention. I am sure your a beautiful person, just wait for the right individual, because relations are a two way thing, if he truly feels something for you, he will contact you. Otherwise, you may chose to remain friends with him and on those terms you can wish him happy birthday. I can understand your in a difficult situation, its hard when you have feelings for someone and they don't appreciate it or feel the same way. But you need to be tough for your own sake, try and preoccupy yourself and when you do think of him, start thinking of something esle. I know you will be upset for a few weeks or even months but trust me you will get over him and you will feel much better in the long run, take care!
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (29 May 2007):
 I think you did the right thing, he was clearly messing you around. It sounds like even he doesnt know what he wants.
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A
female
reader, Pretty and proud +, writes (29 May 2007):
 Plenty more fish in the sea babe, so if he doesnt come to you then keep yourself occupied untill someone else comes along! xXx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2007): no don't let him come to you - go after him. what if hes sat there thinking 'oh if she likes me too she'll phone me'. he could be sat there waiting for you to get in contact!
you've got nothing to lose. if your dreaming about him, you must like him! its better to try and be rejected than have what ifs flying about over the months to come!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2007): Hi, I agree, you should let him come to you, i know you won't want to hear this but u r very young, i'm talking from experience here, in years to come you'll look back and wonder why you wasted so much time worrying about this guy, there's a big world out there, explore it.
take care xx
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A
female
reader, UsuallyConfused  +, writes (29 May 2007):
I'm sure he can find you if he really wants to. I agree let him come to you and don't do your head in over this.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (29 May 2007):
 Let him come to you. If he doesn't, keep your chin up, you'll be ok.
DV1
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