A
male
age
,
*arkman2222
writes:I am in what seems to be a hopeless situation.My girl-friend and I have been together for nearly 3 years, living together almost 2. Her father died 6 years ago. Her mother hastily remarried a man that is disgusting and boorish. His regulatr topic of conversation is sex and sexual inuendo and dirty jokes. He treats me poorly, but she will say or do nothing and has asked me to do the same in the interests of "peace".Before I met her, she told me he even propositioned her sexually while she was still married to her husband. She chose to not reveal this to her mother for fear of hurting her.My girlfriend feels that to maintain any sort of relationship with her mother she has to be friendly to him. I take issue with this from time to time, as friendly sometimes invites inappropriate banter, but have tried to accept her method, although she knows my opinion on this.Yesterday I go downstairs to find her chatting away with him (again) on Facebook. The conversation was innocent enough, but quite friendly and lengthy nonetheless. Nothing about trust funds, though.She claims she finds him disgusting and has a truck-load of issues with him and her mother over how they were becoming involved, while her father lay literally on his death bed. She has further issues over the fact that her father left a small trustfund ($5000) for her two children, which is on the verge of disbursement as they are now older .. which her mother holds the "keys" to. Several half-hearted attempts have been made by her to have the money transferred into her boys names, but she is only met with delays and excuses. Seems her moms husband has decided himself the keeper of this trustfund. She is quite supicious that they have already spent the money.She feels the best way to ever see this trustfund and to maintain a relationship with her mother is to continue to be friendly to him, even though she has asked me to accompany her whenever she visits as she "doesn't want to be left alone with him". This is starting to make me ill as he obviously cannot be trusted . Whenever I try to speak to her on this she becomes instantly angry and defensive, declaring that she is doing nothing wrong. Today she tells me that I have "too many issues" and to basically butt out.I am tempted to confront them for several reasons, but have respected her wishes that I do not.Should I butt out and just turn a blind eye and keep my mouth shut whenever I see them being friendly? How should I approach it?
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 Your wife is within her rights to question/challenge the trust funds on behalf of her children, she needs to seek some legal advice to do so. He on the other hand sounds really grotty doesnt he. Don't leave her children on their own with him, I dont think they would be safe at all if he has already tried to touch your girlfriend. At least if you get to the bottom of the trust funds and make sure they are safe, you'd be able to take it from there rather than wait until the children are old enough and have to put up with all this rubbish. It is not up to him to be the keeper of it, it should surely be a legal contract. Otherwise if it isnt i'll bet you anything they've spent it.
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