A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 12 years, and have a very long history of cheating on my wife. She believes I stopped cheating on her in 2003, when I told her I would never do anything with that particular girl again, however, I have started talking to this girl again, within the past week. Since then, I have slept with 4 different girls. The longest, and also most recent I have been sleeping with on and off for over 4 years. She's my best friend's ex, (now to him, just his kids' mother.) Her and I try to spend as much time togther as we can. So, far, its been a BIG secret. NOBODY HAS ANY CLUE. I don't even know how many times we have had sex. I asked this girl the other day, how she felt about me, and she said that she really did like me. I mean REALLY liked me. That was because she said to me, "I like you a lot more than I should." When we first talked about having sex. Today, she said she wrote down her goals, I asked her how many of them involved making my wife and I get a divorce, and you marrying me? She said, "None, but the thought has crossed my mind." I think I really like this girl. There's NOTHING this girl won't do for me. In fact, her actions tell me, that she is in love with me. The Sex with this girl is unreal. This girl has gotten her tubes tied, is it safe to continue having sex with her now? Can she get pregnant? Could we keep our little secret? My marriage has been kind of up and down for a long time. Wife and I still have sex. However, my wife has this bad habit of blowing me off a lot too, to the point I have to masturbate to feel ANY satisfaction. My wife and I have a 2 year old son, together. I also have 3 step children who think the world of me. Should I keep on with this dangerous lifestyle, or should I end it, and bury the idea of cheating, and keep it a secret, the girl won't talk, my wife would kill her, and she knows it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): "Should I keep on with this dangerous lifestyle, or should I end it, and bury the idea of cheating, and keep it a secret, the girl won't talk, my wife would kill her, and she knows it".
Is this seriously a question you need to ask, I have wondered sometimes if there could be brain damage with people like you.
Have you had a blow to the head and got sumbag disease or something?
I'd get a brain scan! Your not right in the head!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): As a wife who just caught her husband cheating. u need to let your wife go and have her own life. What u r doing is disrespectful and definitly not fair to her. Move on and screw everything u want but let your wife go. What r u waiting for to give her something she doesn't want. It is hell trying to make it work after and I don't think I will be able to. I didn't deserve it and neither does your wife. Be a man (which u obviously r not)and let her go
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): I just wanted to say sorry for being quite so rude about your situation. I meant what I said but I shouldnt have been so rude!
And I am 20 now, so not a little kid, and I can honestly say parents problems have a HUGE impact on kids lives! :-D
sorry for being too judgemntal, your post just hit a really raw nerve for me!!!
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A
female
reader, Cypress +, writes (19 March 2008):
Wow. I have read each of your posts. To the husband - I am a wife who is going though marraige issues. Issues that have been going on for several years and my husband and I always swept everything under the rug. He is now talking (This is what he says) to another women about both his and her issues in their marriages and I am devastated. I now an finding a way to change every element in our lives to turn things around - the sex since all of this has come out is incredible but there is still a lot of pain and issues to work out - it also doesn't help that he and the other woman are still talking - sometimes several times in one day. Anyway, back to you. There are definitly issues with you if you have had multiple affairs - I am sorry that you have to go other places to look for needs that are unsatisfied at home - the child who posted in regards to your message is right - kids find things out, this leads to resentment issues, and changes who the kids are. If I were you, you have 2 choices.......either completly commit and do everything to change your habits and get back into your wife as you were best friends and lovers OR just leave, deal with your issues, and its probably best that you don't marry again until you are confident that you can remain monogomous.Good luck,
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): You are a total scum bag, your son WILL find out, kids know these things and he will never respect you. Divorge your wife and be a batchellor for life. Then U can screw what you want without dragging your kids through it.
Sorry to be harsh but Im the kid in this situation. And my brother and I knew dad was cheating about 3 years before my mom got a clue.
Ok, so point 1, your son will know, you will never look good in his eyes, you will look like the piece of shit that ruined his moms life, but because you will have joint custody, he will leach you for money whenever he can, and youll give it to him cuz you feel so damn guilty for totally ruining his world. IS that what you want your family to be like? When your wife finds out youre cheating and everything comes craching down around you?
Do the honourable thing, pack your bags and move out, telling your wife you want a divorce, NOW, and why. Do it while your son can still get used to you only being there part time and doesnt hate you.
THis may seem really harsh, but i have NO patienc for men who cant keep their f***ing fly zipped, and try to raise a "family". Would you want your son to treat his wife the way youre disrespecting yours? If not, do the right thing and get out, and never marry anyone else, its not right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Your wife deserves better and should have the chance of meeting another person rather than you, she deserves a good man. You can stay in your own shallow pool. If there is nothing physically wrong with your wife then your emotional bond is what has weakened. It will with the other girl too so you had better make sure you have more in common than just sex. I think you are taking an enormous amount for granted. Perhaps your wife sucks you off or wanks you because she doesn't get pleasure from you either. If people adore you you ar very lucky. When you are sitting in your old folks home alone with no family you can at least remember you had sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Your wife would kill her???
Your wife should have something to say to you aswell, like take a 10ft walk off an 8ft cliff!
It sounds to me like you want everyone to think how wonderful you are...well they are ging to think that while they dont know what you are up to arnt they? dispite what you say it will come out in they end.
The kindest thing you could do is leave your wife. Seriously, how can you even think that its okay to keep doing this to her? She deserves to find someone that makes her happy because frankly if she is turning you away in bed you obviously dont do it for her either.
Get it sorted, decide what you want, leave your wife and be truthful about the reasons, she wouldnt want you to stay if you were unhappy but she wouldnt want to be a doormat either. Wipe your feet for the final time on your way out!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Seriously, I think the best and most honourable thing to do would be to get a divorce as you've obviously got no respect for your wife.
Once divorced, maybe you won't have the attraction of being the 'forbidden fruit' to this other woman and she'll look for her excitement elsewhere.
But whatever, get a divorce. You owe your wife at least that much.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): You don't deserve your wife, face up to the music if you ever want to be a true man
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