A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with a guy for about 6 months. I may as well live with him for the time we spend together. And I'm falling in love with him. I haven't told him yet... I don't know if I even should.The thing is, I'm leaving in 6 months for a 6-month-long trip, where I will have no contact...no email, no phone, nothing. We both think we're going to have to split before I go. Neither of us really wants to, but, realistically, 6 months is too long without contact to expect fidelity. We'll start to forget why we wanted each other in the first place and probably end up with other people.I just don't know if I should stay with him until I go or if I should break up with him now, just to save myself pain later. I mean, six months is easier to get over than a year. But, on the other hand, while he's still here, I will always be tempted to go back to him. It's tough because I feel like he's "the one" now, but I think that all the time apart will make me forget that feeling.Besides that, I'm having trouble forgiving him for not telling me when we first started going out that he was sleeping with other girls. He's been monogamous for the past 5 months, but not before, and he never told me. I found out later. I still love him, but I can't get over that...We weren't officially going out yet, but I still feel hurt that he didn't tell me.HELP!!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (12 March 2011):
 You have to forgive him for seeing other girls before he fell in love with you. He is with only you now and that is all that should matter.
As for the 6 mths separation, well that's still 6 nths away and anything could happen between now and then, you could break up for some unrelated reason or you could both fall even deeper in love. So tell him that you want to just live each day for the day and see how things go. Don't break up with him now just because you think it would be easier on either one of you do it now rather than later.
Because you would always wonder what could have been if you hadn't. Especially if you think he might be "the one".
And if you are still together when the time comes for you to go. Then you have a few choices to make. You can write each other real letters if possible. Or if that isn't possible then just tell him you will look him up when you get back.
If he is still free and you are still free and you'd both like to pick things up where you left off then great. Because 6 mths will go by faster then you think they will.
The only thing I would add, and this is up to you guys, but personally I think I would tell him that you love him but you don't expect him to sit at home and wait for you while you are gone. Because he is young and will probably feel lonely after you leave. And so will you so far from home...
So I would never tell him not to date anyone else, nor would I ask him any questions about what he did or who he did it with while you were gone. The same goes for you. And you guys have to agree on this before you go.
Then if he is still free and wants to get back together with you when you get home, you will know that he is the one and that your love was strong enough to stand the test of time. Something many girls wait a life time to know.
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