A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:Every time I go out with my girlfriend and her now 6 year old daughter the girl misbehaves. she's always climbing on things and I mean EVERYTHING, and touching things that don't belong to her. Then when you tell her to stop she does it anyway in your face to prove that she can. Sometimes she screams and makes weird noises for no reason drawing strange looks from passersby. She also jumps on their couch repeatedly like its a trampoline! Another example is yesterday, she climbed over the railing of an observatory. who does that? what if you fall? My g/f told her to get down and she questioned her WHY? She ALWAYS questions her commands or just outright ignores them. DAILY. Never listens the first time! At least 4 times at this place she said "Don't go down there" or "don't touch that" and her daughter just outright ignored her and did it anyway, like she ALWAYS does, her justification "I wanna see whats down there" which I translate as "doesn't matter what you want, my whims supersede your commands" I'm finding it increasingly exhausting to be around this child's always bad behavior. I've brought this up to my g/f numerous times and tried to help, but she won't spank her the way she should to enforce good behavior. In fact, when she goes to grab her and make her mean mommy face the girl just starts laughing hysterically because she KNOWS her mom won't do anything to her! Crazy!Oh and after the girl came back to us from blatantly doing exactly what her mother said not to i said to her "Great listening skills" and her mom told me to keep my comments to myself. Personally, this was pretty tame compared to the scream I wanted to let out. When I'm with them its like being in the eye of a tornado watching powerless as the world spins outta control. I think this kid has ADD/ADHD or something. I looked up the symptoms and she fits, her mom suspected it to, but hasn't taken her to be diagnosed, but thats beside the point. I think i should break up with this girl because I can't see myself being with her child forever, despite how much I care about her. What do you guys think i should do? this is only my second girlfriend and I've never really broken up with anyone. Please help. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (20 July 2010):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yeah, I've decided to break up with her. I've been going over what I'm going to say to her for the past three days.
Hopefully we can still be friends because I still really care about her. In many ways she's the best girl I've ever been with. It would really suck if us breaking up meant I couldn't talk to her anymore.
Also, lemme clarify that this isn't regular child mischievousness. My mom's a teacher and I've volunteered and have worked with children practically my whole life, so I know a thing or two about child behavior.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (20 July 2010):
 If you can't handle being with someone who will obviously be a part of this girl's life for a long time to come, it's probably not a relationship with a future. While the ultimate choice is yours, if I was in your situation, I would be looking to end it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): I've read your post, personally I think you're just young to have to deal with kids issue especially as you don't have any of your own.
We all make mistakes, learn from them, this is probably one for your books.
You're a young guy, it's no surprise you have no patience for the kid.
I don't know how long you've been dating, if this is someone you see yourself marrying, starting your own family with, etc - than maybe it's worth all of it.
If it's something that's only a few months in, than I'm not sure why you're putting yourself through this.
Even if you start a fam, you both would obviously have different parenting skills, expectations of kids, etc.
Stop making life complicated, man.
Read these comments..I bet you didn't even realize you wrote them:
1) Personally, this was pretty tame compared to the scream I wanted to let out. When I'm with them its like being in the eye of a tornado watching powerless as the world spins outta control.....
2) I've brought this up to my g/f numerous times...
3) I think i should break up with this girl because I can't see myself being with her child forever...
Fact is her kid isn't going anywhere for at least another decade. Will the little girl eventually tone down being a kid, sure, but that's couple years down the road, do you have the patience? Probably not. I think you answered your own Q on comment 3..
Even if you sit down with her to discuss this, I don't see how that would help. It's nothing that will change overnight.
...............................
|
