A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So there's this guy I've kind of had a crush on for a long time now, since I was around 16 (I'm now 19). The issue is that he's my ex teacher. I have him as a friend on Facebook and we chat occasionally, just about normal things like catching up, but we used to be closer and I kind of miss that. We used to chat a lot more and even skyped a few times. I feel like I want to talk to him all the time but it's obviously not the right thing to do. I need help knowing what to do, stay in contact a little to keep him updated (he helped me a lot through my school years so I feel I owe it to him to let him know I'm ok), or stop contact completely?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for these responses.
It's not that he's 'backed off', he often talks to me first and since posting this question has offered to help me with something at college and suggested we skype about it first. I think he wants the contact as much as I do, not as a crush but just as a friend which is why it would be hard to just break it off. I also recently told him something (which I'm not willing to share on here) that I felt I couldn't even tell my best friend so I don't really know what I'd do without his support.
So_Very_Confused, I'm really sorry to hear that, I would be completely gutted to hear that about any of my teachers. I hope you're okay.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 November 2014):
 I agree with Honeypie.
He was your teacher and as such he was doing his job to help you.
You don't OWE him anything and he is polite to you as a professional should be.
I had a crush at 16/17 on my English teacher who was at the time about 22. so the age difference was negligible. And yet it was how we met that made it "NOT a chance in hell of a relationship" type of deal
I carried this crush with me forever. To the point that when I read a few months ago about his death from cancer a few years back it made me so sad.
He was my teacher back before the internet, before email, before cell phones... and yet even after I was 18 we managed to occasionally touch base. And then it was gone.
It is a pleasant memory to share with folks like you...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 November 2014):
 I'd stop the contact. You want more from him then he CAN, and is willing to give you. It frustrates you. So staying in touch may not be helpful to you, because it's a constant reminder that you WANT more then he does.
You don't OWE him. He isn't EXPECTING "payment" for the help. If staying in contact isn't HELPING you (and having a 3 year crush makes that kind of obvious) then cut it. It's that simple.
I think he helped you at lot through your school years because AS a teacher he saw your struggle. NOT because he had "romantic" feelings for you. And you took the helping/chats/support as a token of his "love" for you.
He was your teacher and shouldn't overstep that boundary, and maybe he is backing off because YOU are now older and NEED to stand on your own two feet.
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