A
female
age
41-50,
*asandcream
writes:Should I pursue a love from my past? He has found me after eight years of being apart. I am very interested but he is in a loveless relationship and hasn't left it because there's a child involved(not his)Should I even bother with this man? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): Hmmmmm Rasandcream:Isn't that what all men or women say before embarking on an affair, the child is always an excuse, and this child isn't even his. I know he probably loves the child as his own, but how many men say this loveless crap and later, had thier fling and say sorry but "I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP" are you okay with that and the guilt that this is going to be on your conscience....Hope you make the right decision, too many women are desperate for a man so they opt for someone who in the end just uses them. Let him leave her, and go from there, Let the woman in his life have her dignity and you will respect yourself and in the end you will feel so appreciated and loved by this man who did all this for you, honestly if my husband had left me and then had an affair I wouldn't feel so much bitterness for him and the skank, oh and he is still with me, after much begging, and the skank,WELL, Because he never called her again she is having alot of issues with this calling at all times of the night, stalking, I know she is hurting "OH WELL" don't be another skank,,but hold your head high,,If it is meant to be it will happen for you....GOD BLESS XOXO
A
female
reader, pari  +, writes (18 January 2008):
hmmm....
whatever you do take your time.
if he found you after 8 years... wow!
why not start of as being in a freindship bond before anything serious?
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (15 January 2008):
 Hi,
Why oh why would you want to get involved with someone who is just going to bring a pile of emotional baggage along with him. Good grief, tell him that you would love to meet up but not until his personal situation has been resolved.
He's already let you know that he will be living with someone else if you get together, think about it, you will be having a relationship with someone who then goes home and gets into bed with someone else.
You are still young, you can find someone single without ties.
surely you believe you deserve better than this?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): Hi there,
I would be a little careful, think about your past relationship with him and why it stopped. Equally please, please don't get involved with him until his relationship has ended and all the various baggage has ended. Getting involved with him now brings you into his current relationship, the child and partner will become also part of your life. Aside from that, you will be having an affair with a man who seems also happy to betray people. Think long and hard if this is the person you wish to be. Most posts in respect to the man being in an unhappy marriage, but stay for the kids etc, or for what ever reason they say to their respective lovers so they get sympythy sex, is bullshit. They stay cause they want too.
Sometimes when I get a little low with my lot in life and bored, I reflect on one particular boyfriend I had, which I chose to leave, and wonder "what if?" Maybe some of your interest in him is a little like that. After my what if, I quickly realised that I knew in my heart then and now that he was not going to rock my world!. But I am still very fond of him. That was 20 years ago. My advice is if you have him still possibly in your life after 8 years, want to be with him and try again, another month being respectful to his current relationship and him getting his act together and being honest with her and breaking up, will not kill either you or him. WAIT UNTIL HE IS FREE TO BE WITH YOU!!!!.
Good luck and do the right thing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): if he is in a relationship - loveless or not - it's not worth it. if anything happens it is cheating and could lead to problems. just don't bother. xx
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